Michael Regan
Mar 31, 2008, 06:48 pm
Fantastic Four Roast #1
May 1982
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/covers/marvel/fantasticfourroast1thumb.gif" hspace=3 align=top align=left alt="Fantastic Four Roast #1" border="0"> (http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/covers/marvel/fantasticfourroast1full.jpg)
Story Title: When Titans Chuckle!
Writer: Fred Hembeck
Pencilers: "almost everybody" (uncredited)
Colorists: Glynis Wein, Andy Yanchus
Letterer: Joe Rosen
Editor: Jim Shooter
The Human Torch and the Thing are up to their usual horsing around as Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Girl discuss the upcoming festivities of the day. Their son Franklin must stay behind due to illness, but he is certain to be in good hands under the supervision of Alicia Masters. On television, J. Jonah Jameson reports on the many costumed individuals preparing to attend the event.
Hosted by Fred Hembeck, the quartet are surprised when they learn that the event is a roast. Spider-Man is first to speak, but is interrupted when the Sandman emerges from the Human Torches sandwich. He speaks of the many foes the Fantastic Four has fought over the years including his Frightful Four allies the Wizard and Paste Pot Pete… that is, the Trapster. He begins to complain about their deserting forth member but is silenced by the prehensile hair of Medusa. Before the things can get out of hand, Hembeck announces the soup course of the meal. A shadowed figure can be seen tampering with the dish before it can be served to the guests. The Human Torch discovers a miniature bomb in his soup, but in order to not interrupt the party he flames on and melts it in his mouth.
Captain America is next to address the crowd. He recounts his long history as a hero and point out that Reed and Ben had also served during the war. The floor is then yielded to Iron Man who admires Reed’s taste in women, kissing Sue’s hand. He is interrupted when Namor explains his long romantic interest in the Invisible Girl before introducing the Hulk. Being of low intellect, the Hulk reads from a prepared speech. His jokes yield little response until he scares the crowd into laughing.
The salad course is served and a hypno-disc in Sue’s salad begins to sap her will. She renders the device harmless by making it invisible and it is accidentally eaten by the Thing.
The next speakers are Power Man and Iron Fist. Power Man talks long about himself and how he had replaced the Thing on the team for a while, but Iron Fist grows annoyed when he is not permitted time to speak. He powers up his fist to strike his partner, but accidentally launches the Thing into the chandelier overhead.
The evening is long and many heroes follow Power Man and Iron Fist to say a few words about the first family of super-heroes. Thor presents a proclamation from his father Odin to the Thing, and then questions Ben’s insistence of referring to the God of Thunder as “goldilocks”, assuming it is due to Ben’s lack of hair.
Uatu addressed the crowd next playing straight man to the Silver Surfer who quickly flies in circles around the Watcher. The hold everyone’s attention until Uatu becomes motion sick from watching the Silver Surfer repeatedly fly around his head.
The shadowed figure of Daredevil approaches the dais. He talks of all the risks the quartet has taken over the years and how insurance rates have increased when they have been involved, particularly how the Human Torch had recently flamed on at a gas station to impress a young girl with disastrous results.
As a group, the X-Men are next to speak, but are unusually rude to the guests of honor, claiming that they are likely being mind controlled by Magneto. They returns to their seats, and after a few seconds the Human Torch realizes that Magneto does not have the power to control minds.
Doctor Strange appears from thin air and begins to speak. As he drones on he sends many in attendance to sleep and is thankfully interrupted by Eternity who calls him away from the party.
The main course of Cornish hen is served. A tiny machine gun hidden in Mister Fantastic’s bird silently opens fire. He catches the bullets easily in his flexible skin, spitting then back out into his napkin.
Ghost Rider takes the floor next, thundering in on his flaming motorcycle. Not being able to literally roast the foursome in his hellfire, he simply roasts their dinner to cinders. Medusa then addresses the crowd, advising the room that Black Bolt senses that someone is trying to destroy the Fantastic Four. Many heroes in attendance offer their aid, but Reed believes there is nothing to worry about. As the Thing begins to eat his ice cream, it begins to swell from the bowl. Not being able to resort to physical attack against the frozen desert, he must eat his way to victory. With a full stomach, Ben suspects the work of Doctor Doom.
Doom strides forwards, denying any involvement in the attacks. He is tired of being blamed for every misdeed of late. As he rants, Mister Fantastic notices a shadowed figure flips a sinister switch and is quickly joined by many heroes to apprehend Willie Lumpkin. The feckless mailman had recently fallen victim to the intelligence enhancing Brain Skull. Having been rejected membership to the team even though he can wiggle his ears, Willie had sought revenge against the team. Humbled by his own anger, Willie is released from the effects of the Brain Skull.
The festivities resume as one after the other many more costumed guests take turns to honour the heroes. The Fantastic Four is finally permitted to address the gathering. The Human Torch, Mister Fantastic, the Invisible Girl and finally the Thing speak their minds. The Thing ends his speech with a horrible joke, sending Black Bolt into laughter collapsing the roof of the hall.
Characters:
3-D Man
Absorbing Man
Angel
Annihilus
Ant-Man
Aquarian (cameo)
Aragorn (cameo)
Vance Astro
Balder
Beast
Black Bolt
Black Panther
Black Widow
Brother Voodoo
Abe Brown (cameo)
Captain America
Captain Britain (cameo)
Captain Marvel
Captain Universe (May Parker)
Charlie-27 (cameo)
Colossus
Crimebuster (cameo)
Crystal
Cyclops
Daredevil
Darkstar
Dazzler
Devil-Slayer (cameo)
Diablo (cameo)
Bob Diamond
Doc Sampson (cameo)
Doctor Doom
Doctor Strange
Dracula (cameo)
Dragon Man (cameo)
"Dum Dum" Dugan
Eternity
Falcon
Fandral (cameo)
Frankenstein's Monster (cameo)
Nick Fury
Galactus (cameo)
Gargoyle (cameo)
Gorgon (cameo)
Agatha Harkness
Hate Monger
Havok (cameo)
Hawkeye
Fred Hembeck
Ghost Rider
Goliath (cameo)
Hellcat (cameo)
H.E.R.B.I.E.
Hercules
Hogun (cameo)
Howard the Duck
Hulk
Human Torch
Iceman
Ikaris (cameo)
Impossible Man
Invincible Man (cameo)
Invisible Girl
Iron Fist
Iron Man
Jack of Hearts (cameo)
J. Jonah Jameson
Edwin Jarvis
Rick Jones (cameo)
Ka-Zar (cameo)
Karnak (cameo)
Willie Lumpkin
Mad Thinker
Martinex (cameo)
Alicia Masters
Medusa
Man-Thing (cameo)
Miracle Man
Mikhlo
Mister Fantastic
Mole Man
Molecule Man
Moon Knight
Moondragon
Morbius (cameo)
Ms. Marvel (cameo)
Namor
Namorita (cameo)
Nikki
Nighthawk (cameo)
Nova
Paladin
Polaris (cameo)
Power Man
Powerhouse (cameo)
Professor X (cameo)
Psycho-Man
Puck (cameo)
Puppet Master
Quasar (cameo)
Quicksilver
Rama Tut
Red Ghost
Red Guardian (cameo)
Red Skrull (cameo)
Red Wolf (cameo)
Franklin Richards
Zapper Ridge
Sandman
Sasquatch (cameo)
Scarlet Witch
Shan-Chi
Shanna (cameo)
She-Hulk
Lotus Shinchuko (cameo)
Shroud
Silver Surfer
Snowbird (cameo)
Son of Satan (cameo)
Spider-Man
Spider-Woman
Sprite (cameo)
Starhawk (cameo)
Storm
Lin Sun (cameo)
Thing
Thor
Thundra
Tigra
Tomazooma (cameo)
Torpedo
Trapster
Triton (cameo)
Uatu
Union Jack
Valkyrie (cameo)
Vanguard
Vindicator
Vision
Volstagg (cameo)
Wasp
Werewolf (cameo)
Wizard
Whizzer
Wyatt Wingfoot
Wolverine
Wonder Man
Wong (cameo)
Yellowjacket
Cover Only:
Clea
Deathlok
Machine Man
Phantom Rider
'Pinky' Pinkerton
Frankie Raye
May 1982
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/covers/marvel/fantasticfourroast1thumb.gif" hspace=3 align=top align=left alt="Fantastic Four Roast #1" border="0"> (http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/covers/marvel/fantasticfourroast1full.jpg)
Story Title: When Titans Chuckle!
Writer: Fred Hembeck
Pencilers: "almost everybody" (uncredited)
Colorists: Glynis Wein, Andy Yanchus
Letterer: Joe Rosen
Editor: Jim Shooter
The Human Torch and the Thing are up to their usual horsing around as Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Girl discuss the upcoming festivities of the day. Their son Franklin must stay behind due to illness, but he is certain to be in good hands under the supervision of Alicia Masters. On television, J. Jonah Jameson reports on the many costumed individuals preparing to attend the event.
Hosted by Fred Hembeck, the quartet are surprised when they learn that the event is a roast. Spider-Man is first to speak, but is interrupted when the Sandman emerges from the Human Torches sandwich. He speaks of the many foes the Fantastic Four has fought over the years including his Frightful Four allies the Wizard and Paste Pot Pete… that is, the Trapster. He begins to complain about their deserting forth member but is silenced by the prehensile hair of Medusa. Before the things can get out of hand, Hembeck announces the soup course of the meal. A shadowed figure can be seen tampering with the dish before it can be served to the guests. The Human Torch discovers a miniature bomb in his soup, but in order to not interrupt the party he flames on and melts it in his mouth.
Captain America is next to address the crowd. He recounts his long history as a hero and point out that Reed and Ben had also served during the war. The floor is then yielded to Iron Man who admires Reed’s taste in women, kissing Sue’s hand. He is interrupted when Namor explains his long romantic interest in the Invisible Girl before introducing the Hulk. Being of low intellect, the Hulk reads from a prepared speech. His jokes yield little response until he scares the crowd into laughing.
The salad course is served and a hypno-disc in Sue’s salad begins to sap her will. She renders the device harmless by making it invisible and it is accidentally eaten by the Thing.
The next speakers are Power Man and Iron Fist. Power Man talks long about himself and how he had replaced the Thing on the team for a while, but Iron Fist grows annoyed when he is not permitted time to speak. He powers up his fist to strike his partner, but accidentally launches the Thing into the chandelier overhead.
The evening is long and many heroes follow Power Man and Iron Fist to say a few words about the first family of super-heroes. Thor presents a proclamation from his father Odin to the Thing, and then questions Ben’s insistence of referring to the God of Thunder as “goldilocks”, assuming it is due to Ben’s lack of hair.
Uatu addressed the crowd next playing straight man to the Silver Surfer who quickly flies in circles around the Watcher. The hold everyone’s attention until Uatu becomes motion sick from watching the Silver Surfer repeatedly fly around his head.
The shadowed figure of Daredevil approaches the dais. He talks of all the risks the quartet has taken over the years and how insurance rates have increased when they have been involved, particularly how the Human Torch had recently flamed on at a gas station to impress a young girl with disastrous results.
As a group, the X-Men are next to speak, but are unusually rude to the guests of honor, claiming that they are likely being mind controlled by Magneto. They returns to their seats, and after a few seconds the Human Torch realizes that Magneto does not have the power to control minds.
Doctor Strange appears from thin air and begins to speak. As he drones on he sends many in attendance to sleep and is thankfully interrupted by Eternity who calls him away from the party.
The main course of Cornish hen is served. A tiny machine gun hidden in Mister Fantastic’s bird silently opens fire. He catches the bullets easily in his flexible skin, spitting then back out into his napkin.
Ghost Rider takes the floor next, thundering in on his flaming motorcycle. Not being able to literally roast the foursome in his hellfire, he simply roasts their dinner to cinders. Medusa then addresses the crowd, advising the room that Black Bolt senses that someone is trying to destroy the Fantastic Four. Many heroes in attendance offer their aid, but Reed believes there is nothing to worry about. As the Thing begins to eat his ice cream, it begins to swell from the bowl. Not being able to resort to physical attack against the frozen desert, he must eat his way to victory. With a full stomach, Ben suspects the work of Doctor Doom.
Doom strides forwards, denying any involvement in the attacks. He is tired of being blamed for every misdeed of late. As he rants, Mister Fantastic notices a shadowed figure flips a sinister switch and is quickly joined by many heroes to apprehend Willie Lumpkin. The feckless mailman had recently fallen victim to the intelligence enhancing Brain Skull. Having been rejected membership to the team even though he can wiggle his ears, Willie had sought revenge against the team. Humbled by his own anger, Willie is released from the effects of the Brain Skull.
The festivities resume as one after the other many more costumed guests take turns to honour the heroes. The Fantastic Four is finally permitted to address the gathering. The Human Torch, Mister Fantastic, the Invisible Girl and finally the Thing speak their minds. The Thing ends his speech with a horrible joke, sending Black Bolt into laughter collapsing the roof of the hall.
Characters:
3-D Man
Absorbing Man
Angel
Annihilus
Ant-Man
Aquarian (cameo)
Aragorn (cameo)
Vance Astro
Balder
Beast
Black Bolt
Black Panther
Black Widow
Brother Voodoo
Abe Brown (cameo)
Captain America
Captain Britain (cameo)
Captain Marvel
Captain Universe (May Parker)
Charlie-27 (cameo)
Colossus
Crimebuster (cameo)
Crystal
Cyclops
Daredevil
Darkstar
Dazzler
Devil-Slayer (cameo)
Diablo (cameo)
Bob Diamond
Doc Sampson (cameo)
Doctor Doom
Doctor Strange
Dracula (cameo)
Dragon Man (cameo)
"Dum Dum" Dugan
Eternity
Falcon
Fandral (cameo)
Frankenstein's Monster (cameo)
Nick Fury
Galactus (cameo)
Gargoyle (cameo)
Gorgon (cameo)
Agatha Harkness
Hate Monger
Havok (cameo)
Hawkeye
Fred Hembeck
Ghost Rider
Goliath (cameo)
Hellcat (cameo)
H.E.R.B.I.E.
Hercules
Hogun (cameo)
Howard the Duck
Hulk
Human Torch
Iceman
Ikaris (cameo)
Impossible Man
Invincible Man (cameo)
Invisible Girl
Iron Fist
Iron Man
Jack of Hearts (cameo)
J. Jonah Jameson
Edwin Jarvis
Rick Jones (cameo)
Ka-Zar (cameo)
Karnak (cameo)
Willie Lumpkin
Mad Thinker
Martinex (cameo)
Alicia Masters
Medusa
Man-Thing (cameo)
Miracle Man
Mikhlo
Mister Fantastic
Mole Man
Molecule Man
Moon Knight
Moondragon
Morbius (cameo)
Ms. Marvel (cameo)
Namor
Namorita (cameo)
Nikki
Nighthawk (cameo)
Nova
Paladin
Polaris (cameo)
Power Man
Powerhouse (cameo)
Professor X (cameo)
Psycho-Man
Puck (cameo)
Puppet Master
Quasar (cameo)
Quicksilver
Rama Tut
Red Ghost
Red Guardian (cameo)
Red Skrull (cameo)
Red Wolf (cameo)
Franklin Richards
Zapper Ridge
Sandman
Sasquatch (cameo)
Scarlet Witch
Shan-Chi
Shanna (cameo)
She-Hulk
Lotus Shinchuko (cameo)
Shroud
Silver Surfer
Snowbird (cameo)
Son of Satan (cameo)
Spider-Man
Spider-Woman
Sprite (cameo)
Starhawk (cameo)
Storm
Lin Sun (cameo)
Thing
Thor
Thundra
Tigra
Tomazooma (cameo)
Torpedo
Trapster
Triton (cameo)
Uatu
Union Jack
Valkyrie (cameo)
Vanguard
Vindicator
Vision
Volstagg (cameo)
Wasp
Werewolf (cameo)
Wizard
Whizzer
Wyatt Wingfoot
Wolverine
Wonder Man
Wong (cameo)
Yellowjacket
Cover Only:
Clea
Deathlok
Machine Man
Phantom Rider
'Pinky' Pinkerton
Frankie Raye