Jim Lemoine
Jun 9, 2004, 03:12 pm
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/comix10_logo.gif" align=left border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">The Top 10 Identity Crisis Demises
Writers: Zeb Aslam, Nick Costanzo, Jon Hancock, Tan K., and Zachary Palisoc
Editor: Jim Lemoine
Perhaps no single word in all of comicdom carries such vast meaning and apprehension as the word, "Crisis." Crisis On Infinite Earths, besides being the first true mega-crossover and universe-redefining event, was one of the formative works of superhero comic literature. Crisis means change. Crisis means epic. And the bit that causes all the anxiety... Crisis means death.
In the upcoming Identity Crisis from DC Comics, the comics giant is set to again raise the bar on the mega-crossover. Early reports and first looks suggest that this is going to be the really groundbreaking DC series we've been waiting for for a long time. Beyond the epic scale and grand proportions this series will have... we also know that somebody's gonna die. Who will it be? Who should it be? Will the Flash franchise take another hit? Will a Superkid bite the bullet again? Will it be a ring-wielder, an archer, or Bat protege?
We asked a cross-section of ComiX-Fan writers, some die-hard DC fanatics... and one, in particular, who doesn't seem to care for the Distinguished Competition that much. In any event, read on and vote for the best list; here's what they came up with for the Top 10 Identity Crisis Demises.
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First to stick his neck into the fray was Zachary Palisoc, (a.k.a. Mr. I'm-too-Sexy-for-an-Avatar) who prefers his entries short and sweet... just like him:
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27142" target="_blank">The Elongated Man</a>
What is this? You mean to tell me there's a rip-off of Reed Richards in the DC universe, only minus the intelligence and the coolness factor? Off with his head and the rest of his stretchy parts!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26567" target="_blank">Superboy</a>
Because clones should not be allowed to exist, period.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>
Most boring character in the DC universe, ever. Even his sales are tanking. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan is not responsible for injuries caused by or incurred while reading really, really, really bad puns) Next!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Catwoman
The movie trailer alone is justification enough.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a>
Why? Why couldn't he just have stayed dead the first time?!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>
This is one of the few DC characters I actually like, so why do I want him to die? Because, other than Batman, he's the most overpowered member of the team and a convenient plot device.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4 & #3: (tie) Tim Drake (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26942" target="_blank">Robin</a>) and Dick Grayson (Nightwing)
Because all proteges of Batman should die. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone violence against minors, unless they liked the Batman & Robin movie, in which case we encourage it) Jason Todd should have been the last and the only Robin. You think Bruce would learn his lesson after that little ugly incident, but nooo, he just keeps on spawning Robins. And now the latest one is a girl! Oy, will he never learn? At any rate, Dick is way cooler than Tim Drake, but still, they have no business doing men's work. I say let the Birds of Prey take over!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26196" target="_blank">Batman</a>
Bruce Wayne used to be cool, but now he has became an brooding shadow of himself. (see Hush) Kill him off and let the Birds of Prey take over Gotham City. They're much cooler.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: The Green Lanterns (Kyle Rayner & Hal Jordan)
This is the book (other than the Superman books during his "death") that made me drop DC comics. Even though my memory is fuzzy, I remember I just couldn't get into a guy wielding some magic ring and using it to save the universe. The fact of the matter is, I have never liked any incarnation of Green Lantern. Not Hal Jordan, not Kyle Rayner, and especially not the one appearing in the Justice League cartoon (John Stewart). What each of these men had in common was a plot device to make up for the lack of personality behind it. Even Batman had more personality in his cowl than these guys, and that's why I believe a Green Lantern should be the one to die in Identity Crisis.
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Of course, then I realized my mistake: maybe I should have asked someone who actually liked the DC Universe to write? Luckily, Jon Hancock (a.k.a. Jonberg) fit the bill:
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/avatar.php?userid=3822&dateline=1063985599" align=left border=0 alt="Jonberg Hancock"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: Cash Me In. I'm Done (Double Down)
If there's one thing that I do not like in comics, it's things that make me want to vomit. Compiling this list, I decided to choose characters whose deaths would make interesting stories or make me smile more. As much as I love and adore Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver, the idea of a man who peels off his skin to reveal a playing card underneath and then uses it as razor sharp projectile makes me feel a little green. Yet that's precisely what Double Down does. Oh, and his skin grows back eventually, but not before you see all his musculature underneath. Getting rid of this more than slightly squeamish sight would be a fantastic decision.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: The Butler Did It (Alfred Pennyworth)
This one makes me feel nasty. After all how could anyone want a poor defenseless old man to die? Especially one who isn't even really a hero. I mean, all he does is keep the place tidy. But I feel the time has come for one of comic's most well-known figures to finally kick the bucket. Alfred Pennyworth, your number is up. Batman's character keeps changing. One minute he's uber-intelligent and hanging with the JLA, the next he's back to gritty vigilante. If there's to be something to change his character, it should be permanent. Losing Jason Todd messed the Bat up bad; losing Alfred would be even worse. The guy who is effectively his father. The man who runs his whole life for him. This wouldn't be like losing a partner or a sidekick; this is like losing your parents. Again. Plus he'd have to learn how to use an iron. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not endorse using an iron while wearing a cape and facemask.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!? (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28073" target="_blank">Doomsday</a> & Mr. Miracle)
Just a couple of characters I'd like to see die once and for all as it'd be really fun seeing how they managed to do it. Doomsday can never be killed without evolving to defeat whatever killed him last. Somebody has to bring an end to this vicious circle. The other candidate is Mr. Miracle. This guy is better than Bond at escaping traps, and I'd like to see the one that spells the end for Scott Free.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Junior Bites the Bullet (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=268079" target="_blank">Captain Marvel Junior</a>)
Who remembers when life was sweet and easy, and all you were worried about was whether your apple was going to be the ripest teacher would get that morning? Anyone? Well, take a trip to Fawcett City and you'll find that pretty much everyone is used to that way of life. Somehow stuck in the 1950's, Fawcett City is protected by the man who sums up the Golden Age of American civilisation, Captain Marvel. This guy is basically Superman, but even more pure of heart and soul. I think that Captain Marvel and the rest of the Marvel family have been long overdue for a chance to shine. Perhaps what is needed to showcase just how gripping Captain Marvel could be is to change his character drastically. Let's kill Captain Marvel Junior!
This would be fascinating to see as Captain Marvel would be questioning his stance on fighting villainy. Does he do enough? Is his old fashioned attitude putting himself and his family at risk? To see Billy Batson develop a mean streak would be worth the price of admission alone. Either that, or kill off Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: Would-Be World Conqueror (Kanjar Ro)
There's a genre of comic book character in DC that is a tad overpopulated. The Would-be World Conqueror brigade numbers in the dozens. However, most of them are respectable, scary guys with legitimate resources to be a threat. Heck, even Mister Nebula was slightly threatening. Who'd really want their planet to get his make over? But then there's the guy who's short, pinky purple, and looks like a bug. Kanjar Ro, come on down. This guy caused a few minor problems for the JLA and hasn't done a whole lot else. Did I mention he looks like a bug? How intimidating is that? Y'know if Hitler had been 5'3", had a wiry frame, and huge bulging yellow eyes, I doubt there ever would have been a stir in Europe. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not support prejudice against the short, the wiry, or those with huge, bulging, hilarious yellow eyes.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: Two Birds With One Stone (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a> & Lois Lane)
So I'm in the mood for killing people for the sake of storylines. One of the most hyped up and disappointing deaths in comic history was that of the Big S himself. When Supes finally became worm food, nothing really changed. There were a few new characters, a nice cover on an issue or two, and an obvious resurrection. So I say enough. Let's not kill Superman, let's kill Clark Kent! (Yes, I know they're the same person.) Superman could be so much more than what he is. You think about your job, and then think how much more work you'd get done if you didn't go home and relax all the time. Granted, we need to relax... but we're not super. So I propose that the world get Superman protection 24/7. How do we do this? Simple, you kill Lois Lane. Without Lois, Clark wouldn't have a reason to live. All the friends he has are either metas or not really close enough to keep him tied to a civilian identity. Without Lois, Superman would be a loose cannon. The stories that could be told are vast in number and should all be high quality. Do it for the good of comics, Lois!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: You Let WHO Join? (Power Girl's Cat)
Yes, Power Girl's cat. It should die for three reasons: #1. It's a cat and thus inherently evil. #2. It makes G'nort and Scarlet Skiier look like credible JLA members. #3. We might get to see Power Girl more out of respect for her dead kitty. Maybe in a slinky black number.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Don't Fix What Isn't Broken (Hourman)
This is my one pick that no one is likely to agree with but that's because it's also the only character I get really, REALLY excited about. Don't ask me why, but Rex 'Tick Tock' Tyler, aka Hourman, is my favourite hero and always will be. The guy was fascinating as he transcended Golden Age and Silver Age titles and styles. He was constantly being updated. He was a pre-war hero yet suffered Modern Age problems like drug addiction and being a bad parent. Then his kid came along and ruined everything. Rick Tyler is possibly the blandest character that I've ever read. The only interesting sequences he's had are when he's talking to his dad. Now Rex is back with the JSA while Rick sits in some chronal anomaly trying to hold his guts in. Lets keep him there, I say, but without any arms so he dies a slow and drawn-out death. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not promote slow and painful deaths for children of drug-abusing parents.) Plus, it'd add yet another level to Rex's character. This death seems better each time I think of it.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: I Command The Sea, but Nobody Cares (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>)
One of the problems I had while compiling this list is that all characters can be redeemed through different writing. Geoff Johns did it with most of the JSA. Grant Morrison did it with the JLA as a team. Character after character was crossed off my list as I decided they could be used differently. But this guy... this guy has no hope. In his fifty-year history, Aquaman has had 5 cancelled solo series. His 6th and current series has been met with indifference again. This guy is meant to be one of the big 7 icons of the DCU... and yet NO ONE likes him. And why should they? His powers are bland, his character is bland, nothing makes him unique save his ability to talk to fish. Wow, FISH! He's the king of Atlantis and thus has no interaction with the majority of the DCU, making it ridiculously hard for a fan to form a connection with him. He's died before and no one missed him. The only good thing to come from Aquaman is the parody of Five for Fighting's Superman song which has been scandalously removed from the internet. It is time to give Orin the same treatment; only remove him from any form of media ever.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: Splitting the Atom (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28081" target="_blank">Atom Smasher</a>)
Atom Smasher gets my number one pick. Not a big name, not a popular character, and not an expected pick. However, I can see Al being one of the most likely casualties in Identity Crisis. I think Johns has gone as far as he can with the guy. Lets see.... He's had a stint with the JLA and JSA, he's had storylines about his sexuality, he's lost or nearly lost just about every family member or person that's been close to him, and has fought against the government. He's murdered the man who killed his idol. Most recently he was corrupted into fighting for evil and helped to cause the deaths of two other misled heroes. His relationships with Nemesis and Stargirl have been nicely finished off. Al has very few things to live for now and has always been the sort to sacrifice himself. Now's the time to take one for the team. Plus that old red Mohawk needs punishing.
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So that, we thought, was more like it. And perhaps fellow DC Junkie Zeb Aslam could add to the debate:
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar13426_3.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Zeb Aslam"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: The Incredible Shrinking Man (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26012" target="_blank">Atom</a>)
Simple reason...I don't like Ray Palmer (The Atom). No, I mean I REALLY don't like Ray Palmer. He's the ultimate deus ex machina device...and I hate those!!! Whenever the Justice League's in trouble and there's nary a solution in sight, who comes along? Why, it's Ray Palmer...the person with the incredible power to shrink! (May as well call him Doll-Man...) And he manages to outwit not only Batman, but also Steel, and all the rest because he's just so damned smart! Not to mention the fact that I hated the storyline which regressed him to a teenager, but anyway...off with his head!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: Right Down to Davy Jones' Locker! (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>)
Ah, Aquaman...so many reasons, so little space. Why don't I just go with the one problem I have with this character that no one has been able to resolve; and that's his inconstant origin. Each new volume (and I think there have been seven) seems to bring with it new 'insights' into the origin which each prove to worsen the character and confuse the hell out of the reader. Not to mention his powers!! Peter David did a great service to the character by giving him the hook, but now that storyline is gone, and instead we have a hand of water... WOW!! Water!! I'm so scared of this guy now. Sheesh...they may as well give him a purple monkey as a sidekick. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan likes purple monkeys.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: Where There's Thunder, There's Lightning! (Thunder)
This one's so obvious, I can't believe no one else thought of it. We all love Black Lightning, right? We all want to see him return to the spotlight like he has been doing recently in Outsiders, right? Well, I say kill off his daughter (that's Thunder, for those of you who don't know) and give him the motivation to become a full-time hero again. Let's face it, it would be incredibly easy to manage; Outsiders has an Identity Crisis tie-in, and we all know that nothing spells death like a tie-in. Kill her, I say...bring the glory of the Lightning back!!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Green Guys Always Die... don't they? (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>)
I don't really have any animosity towards J'onn (Martian Manhunter). Quite frankly, I think he's a great character; one of the most underused and underrated characters in the DCU, in fact. So, why do I want him dead? Because no one knows how to use him!!! The poor guy has the most bland and dry personality ever! He's subjected to a crippling fear of fire...c'mon, you mean to tell me he can't get over it even a little after all this time? It's not like he becomes weakened by it...it's psychological!!! Not to mention the fact that he's another one of those deus ex machina characters...and the only one who I can see really, really making a change if he dies. It all adds up to a big green splotch on the cosmic windscreen. Bye, J'onn...we barely knew thee.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: The Flash Needs Some Booty (Linda West)
The Flash has a secret identity again...and Linda has left him to "gather her thoughts." Now, let's translate that into comic-speak, shall we? "Wally, I love you. But unfortunately, in order to give you more depth, and also to allow you to go out and find new, more interesting female supporting characters which will allow you to cry, and do all sorts of other fun stuff, I have to die. Don't worry, since I'll have been gone from your book for so long, the 'fans' will recover quickly, and you will be so shattered that it'll make for a year's worth of emotional stories at least. Good-bye Wally...it's been a nice few years."
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: Two Isn't Really Better Than One (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25929" target="_blank">Firestorm</a>)
This one has a more practical bent to it. See, we have three Firestorms, 1) Ronnie Raymond, 2) Martin Stein, and 3) Jason Rusch/anyone who's around, apparently. So anyway, Firestorm in itself is a concept that never works well in comics. You make a guy that powerful and you expect people to relate to him? My bet is that since ol' Jason just got a new series...poor Ronnie is gonna bite the big one, and soon. I would say Martin, but since he's off in space and no one's even mentioned him in God knows how long, he won't exactly 'change' the DCU will he? Now, with Ronnie, at least if he dies in Identity Crisis... where his death could actually mean something, it would change the DCU...slightly. It will be sad to see Ronnie go, but for the love of sanity, and for the sake of fandom assembled...I think it's time Ronnie was released from bad writing and worse characterization.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: Ralph Needs Backbone... Seriously! (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28069" target="_blank">Sue Dibny</a>)
I think everyone who's been following the news columns and interviews which have been conducted with Meltzer over the past few months knows that Ralph Dibny (Elongated Man) is supposed to play a major, major role in the upcoming mini. Now, we all know Ralph loves a mystery, and can't resist a challenge. What would get Ralph to become a hero that could play in the big leagues again...and get respected for it? Why, nothing else but the death of his wife (That's Sue Dibny for those of you not in the know), of course! Ralph is one of those characters who is trapped by his Silver Age beginnings...funny as hell, but never taken seriously. With the death of Sue, we would see the rebirth of a new, more cynical Ralph...and I say, it's about time!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Where's The Chameleon Woman? (Gypsy)
Who? Well...I'm glad you asked. During the time that the Justice League was headquartered in...of all places...Detroit, (that's right, the motor-car capital of the world!!) Gypsy was the token teenage runaway member who was something of a protege of J'onn. When this particular team disbanded... Gypsy went off to her parents... after which she was attacked by Despero, lost her parents, and joined the Justice League Task Force. She has been on the sidelines since then...recently appearing in Birds Of Prey. But c'mon...do we really need a second string heroine wandering around aimlessly in the DCU? It'll be a blessing for her and us if she dies...and J'onn can finally get some decent characterization as he mourns her loss.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: This Guy's Got Nothing On Hellboy! (Blue Devil)
Blue Devil has to be the lamest character ever...and I mean ever!!!... to be introduced in comics. Since simply explaining his lameness would just not work, I thought I would give you a mini bio to give you an idea of his lameness:
"Originally a movie stuntman transformed into a Hell-powered superhero by the demon Nebiros, Dan Cassidy later became part demon after a clash with Neron. He was killed by Holy Water while battling the super-villainess known as the Mist. During the Day of Judgement, the magician Faust resurrected him and helped him finally evolve into a true demon. Not showing any allegiance to Hell, he currently wields the Trident of Lucifer and uses it to find Demons on Earth and banish them back to the Underworld."
C'mon!!! Can we really let this travesty of a character live? We, and Meltzer, owe it to Comicdom Assembled to speedily get him killed. Soon... like now... or earlier... (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not authorize the use of time travel to kill demons. You had your chance in Zero Hour.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: The New Shall Always Make Way For The Old (The New Green Arrow)
Again, frightfully simple to see. Ever since Oliver Queen was brought back from the dead, we've essentially had two Green Arrows. While this was nice to see for a while, along the lines of a Bat-family...it just doesn't work in the Green Arrow part of the DC-Verse. Brad Meltzer, having written Green Arrow, understands the characters of the Green Arrow-family best... so who better to kill off then one of them? It can't be Ollie... he just came back, and it took him long enough the first time. It can't be Arsenal... he's in Outsiders, and he's in solicitations that go far beyond the Identity Crisis tie-in of that series. So, who does that leave? Why, Green Arrow Jr., Conner, of course! In fact, he is the only member of the GA-family whom we have not seen any talk about in quite some time... to throw off suspicion perhaps? I don't think I need to say anymore. He will die, I tell you... he will die!!!
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As Zeb cackled and continued to repeat, "he will die," the rest of us edged into the corner... where we found Nick Costanzo, cheerfully asking if he could submit a list. We didn't know what we were getting into....
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar199_6.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Nick Costanzo">Oh, so you say there's another industry-wide DC crossover coming out. Well gee, what with my utter lack of knowledge or even interest in 99% of what DC puts out, let me get my pillow and close my eyes for a few hundred minutes as you tell me all about it...
Wait, you mean someone's dying? Well, not that I think it'll last for more than about a half issue, but I could be more than obliged to offer a few suggestions as to who should go...
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26012" target="_blank">The Atom</a>
So in that JLA/Avengers thing a few months back, the Flash was out of commission, so they replaced him with the Atom. Wow. We lose our guy who can run at light speeds, but don't worry... this guy can shrink. I'm sure that'll come in real handy against galactic monsters and whatnot. Unless of course, someone just steps on him. THE ATOM VERSUS.... some guy's boot. Riveting. Kill the poor bastard already.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>
I'm almost certain this fool will end up on everyone's list, which is why he's ranked so low. Aquaman is a given. I believe Dave Chappelle said it best....
“Back when I was a kid, they'd have these contests where you say which one of these three superheroes you'd wanna be. They'd have Superman... the Green Lantern... and I'll never forget this: C) was Aquaman. Now who the hell is gonna pick Aquaman? The powers are only good underwater...”
Nobody likes you, Aquaman. I'd tell you to go drown yourself, but the cruel hand that fate has dealt us won't allow for it. So use your aquatic telepathy to tell a shark to eat you or something.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: Hawkman
What do you get when you mix He-Man with Archangel? Hawkman. I want this loser dead based on looks alone. I mean his mask has a freakin' beak on it. A BEAK! Totally unacceptable. Clip his wings, mid-flight, and watch him plummet to a messy splatty death. You'll be doing him, and by him, I mean me, a favor.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>
Telepathy. Stronger than Superman. Fast as crap. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone illegal crap-racing.) Shape-Shifting. Density Control. Green. This man has way too many powers. And his constant whining about his millenia-old dead family wouldn't be so bad if that wasn't the ONLY thing they ever bothered to dwell on with this guy. Unfortunately, based on the information I've derived from the various ComiX-Fan Vs. threads, to kill the Martian Manhunter you have to dig up the grave of a saint, light the bones on fire, douse your first-born son in lighter fluid and throw HIM into the fire as well, and then somehow convince MM to roll around in the resulting blaze for about a half hour.
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm off to go unearth St. Adrian of Nicomedia, and then I'm off to teach little Billy about “taking one for the team...”
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: That New Robin Chick, Whatshername.
I don't think it matters. All I know is that the female Robin I've seen on the covers of several upcoming DC Comics in the previews looks ugly as hell, especially with the weird pompom hair thing she's got going for her. Maybe her gruesome death will finally make Batman start questioning the whole “Robin” concept after all.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25849" target="_blank">Plastic Man</a>
Plastic Man. They gave Plastic Man his own friggin' comic. And it looks like it was drawn by a blind eight-year-old quadriplegic (yes, that means he has no arms... I assume it was drawn via the mouth in some manner). But I have an even better idea for Plastic Man exposure: Plastic Man action figures! You see, first we boil this idiot down until he's good and dead, and then we make little toys out of him from the very same plastic that used to BE him! Sure, when little kids get him for Christmas the response will be, "Um.... thank you?", but hey, DC wants promotion, and goddammit, there will BE promotion.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: Captain Marvel
Because dammit, this is DC, and I don't really care whether Marvel's Captain Marvel or DC's Captain Marvel came first. One of them's gotta go 'cause it's damn confusing, and I vote for DC's, just because their Captain Marvel looks like a total jackass with a lightning bolt on his shirt. Marvel's CM is a psycho now, anyway. Lets have him travel to the DCU and kill their Captain Marvel for having the same name as him. Seems reasonable enough to me.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a>
Okay, imagine this. Lex Luthor takes his entire supply of Kryptonite. He fashions a Kryptonite Uzi with hundreds of Kryptonite bullets, and then proceeds to enter his pimped out ride, which of course is also made out of Kryptonite. He cruises around Metropolis, waiting for Superman to show up. The second that sucka shows his face, Lex drives by, unloads the entire clip into Superman's insufferably primary colors, all the while screaming “LUTHOR, BIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Damn that would be awesome.
(Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not... hell, actually, I'd pay good money to see that.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26812" target="_blank">Krypto</a>
You know what would be even more awesome? Right before Luthor sprays Superman in a driveby, he runs over Superman's stupid-ass super-dog with his Kryptonite tires (and pimped out Kryptonite rims, reco'nise). Highest selling Superman issue of all time right there.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: JLA-Man
Yes, if I were writing JLA, I'd fashion a threat so absurdly huge that there would be only one possible way to beat it. The entire JLA would magically form into a single entity, JLA-Man! The strength of Superman and Wonder Woman and all the rest! The rings of Green Lantern! The mind of Batman and Martian Manhunter! The fish-talkyness of Aquaman! Truly this would be a warrior to be feared.
And just to show the fans of DC how much respect I have for these characters and all their dynamic history... JLA-Man would be defeated by none other than Wolverine. Yep, you heard right. Complete with a standard one “bub” per panel, Wolverine would totally kick JLA-Man's ass, and say something along the lines of “I'm the best at what I do, and what I do is ruin yo' punk-asses' ****.”
Because as overplayed, overexposed, and overdone as Wolverine is... he's still not as bad as the Justice League. The end.
Now can someone tell me what the hell this “Identity Crisis” thing is?
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While Nick drafted his submission to the editors of the Superman books, we managed to find another DC fan to bite the bullet and tell us who should kick the bucket. Tan K. said....
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar499_7.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Tan K."><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: My, How The Mighty Have Fallen (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28073" target="_blank">Doomsday</a>)
Say what you want about the Death of Superman idea. All I know is that Doomsday was one bad mutha, and he took it to everyone. Every time since that "fateful" issue when he took Supes down, he has been reduced to half or a quarter of his former self. Actually, this is more a statement of how I hate inconsistent writing. If a man can kill Superman and demolish the JLA one time, then by God he should be able to do it again.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: Riddle Me This: Who Sucks At Making Batman Movies? (Joel Schumacher)
How can a man who has Val Kilmer (in his prime), Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Tommy Lee Jones, George Clooney, and Uma Thurman make such disgraceful movies?
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: "Can I Buy A Vowel?" (Mr. Myxzptlk)
Hey, how many times can an imp fall for the same trick of saying his name backwards? It was fine as an episode on Superfriends, but in comics? Behead the man! (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan will not... hmmmmm... Pimp Luthor....)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: New Gods Fodder (Orion & Big Barda)
Jack Kirby created an incredible world in the New Gods, but these two get on my nerves. Thor and Wonder Woman with no personality. Maybe they'll get Mother Boxed into the Source.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: Yawwwwwwn (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26566" target="_blank">Steel</a>)
Boooooring....smelt, anyone?
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: More is Not Necessarily Better (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>, M'onel, & Captain Marvel)
Superman is the grandfather of heroes. He is strong, fast, blah, blah, blah.... Fair enough. Why do you need these other guys then? More disappointing, writers pretend that they aren't ultra-powerful. These guys alone should have the world in utopian shape by now. How do writers hide it? They decide to subjugate the characters to the background of each story. Just merge them into Superman or something already. Uber-powerful heroes is so not in.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: I'm Rubber, You're Rubber... Hell, Forget It (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25849" target="_blank">Plastic Man</a>)
I know Joe Kelly tried to spiff the guy up, but he is annoying as hell. To be honest, I didn't mind him until that whole Trial by Fire story in JLA. He's comic relief. He can stretch his nose into any crevice. That's his purpose in comicdom. Why the need to make him any more?
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Death By Insanity (Joker)
I know he is The-Batman villain, but it's not like he's on the same mental level as Luthor or has the depth of Magneto. There are only so many times he can go psychotic on Gotham and shoot someone. He's overused and a plot device at best now. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not promote the use of the Joker as a basis for DC crossover events. It turned out really bad last time.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: Gone In A Flash (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26791" target="_blank">Kid Flash</a>, formerly Impulse)
Just 'cause.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: Green Lantern Corpses (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27427" target="_blank">Guy Gardner</a>, <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25831" target="_blank">John Stewart</a>, & Kyle Rayner)
To clean the platter for the upcoming Rebirth mini, get rid of these guys. Guy Gardner? 'Nuff Said. John Stewart? When was the last time he had a personality? Kyle? DC tried, but he's the Rodimus Prime of the Green Lantern mythos. He is nowhere near as strong, confident, cool, etc., as Hal. Give the Matrix back to Hal, Kyle, for everyone's sake.
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And... there you have it. Five different viewpoints, fifty picks total, some DC lovers, some DC haters, and one guy that just scares us.
Don't forget to vote for the best list in our poll....
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The opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the writers, and are not reflective of ComiX-Fan or its other staff in general.
Writers: Zeb Aslam, Nick Costanzo, Jon Hancock, Tan K., and Zachary Palisoc
Editor: Jim Lemoine
Perhaps no single word in all of comicdom carries such vast meaning and apprehension as the word, "Crisis." Crisis On Infinite Earths, besides being the first true mega-crossover and universe-redefining event, was one of the formative works of superhero comic literature. Crisis means change. Crisis means epic. And the bit that causes all the anxiety... Crisis means death.
In the upcoming Identity Crisis from DC Comics, the comics giant is set to again raise the bar on the mega-crossover. Early reports and first looks suggest that this is going to be the really groundbreaking DC series we've been waiting for for a long time. Beyond the epic scale and grand proportions this series will have... we also know that somebody's gonna die. Who will it be? Who should it be? Will the Flash franchise take another hit? Will a Superkid bite the bullet again? Will it be a ring-wielder, an archer, or Bat protege?
We asked a cross-section of ComiX-Fan writers, some die-hard DC fanatics... and one, in particular, who doesn't seem to care for the Distinguished Competition that much. In any event, read on and vote for the best list; here's what they came up with for the Top 10 Identity Crisis Demises.
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First to stick his neck into the fray was Zachary Palisoc, (a.k.a. Mr. I'm-too-Sexy-for-an-Avatar) who prefers his entries short and sweet... just like him:
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27142" target="_blank">The Elongated Man</a>
What is this? You mean to tell me there's a rip-off of Reed Richards in the DC universe, only minus the intelligence and the coolness factor? Off with his head and the rest of his stretchy parts!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26567" target="_blank">Superboy</a>
Because clones should not be allowed to exist, period.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>
Most boring character in the DC universe, ever. Even his sales are tanking. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan is not responsible for injuries caused by or incurred while reading really, really, really bad puns) Next!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Catwoman
The movie trailer alone is justification enough.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a>
Why? Why couldn't he just have stayed dead the first time?!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>
This is one of the few DC characters I actually like, so why do I want him to die? Because, other than Batman, he's the most overpowered member of the team and a convenient plot device.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4 & #3: (tie) Tim Drake (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26942" target="_blank">Robin</a>) and Dick Grayson (Nightwing)
Because all proteges of Batman should die. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone violence against minors, unless they liked the Batman & Robin movie, in which case we encourage it) Jason Todd should have been the last and the only Robin. You think Bruce would learn his lesson after that little ugly incident, but nooo, he just keeps on spawning Robins. And now the latest one is a girl! Oy, will he never learn? At any rate, Dick is way cooler than Tim Drake, but still, they have no business doing men's work. I say let the Birds of Prey take over!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26196" target="_blank">Batman</a>
Bruce Wayne used to be cool, but now he has became an brooding shadow of himself. (see Hush) Kill him off and let the Birds of Prey take over Gotham City. They're much cooler.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: The Green Lanterns (Kyle Rayner & Hal Jordan)
This is the book (other than the Superman books during his "death") that made me drop DC comics. Even though my memory is fuzzy, I remember I just couldn't get into a guy wielding some magic ring and using it to save the universe. The fact of the matter is, I have never liked any incarnation of Green Lantern. Not Hal Jordan, not Kyle Rayner, and especially not the one appearing in the Justice League cartoon (John Stewart). What each of these men had in common was a plot device to make up for the lack of personality behind it. Even Batman had more personality in his cowl than these guys, and that's why I believe a Green Lantern should be the one to die in Identity Crisis.
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Of course, then I realized my mistake: maybe I should have asked someone who actually liked the DC Universe to write? Luckily, Jon Hancock (a.k.a. Jonberg) fit the bill:
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/avatar.php?userid=3822&dateline=1063985599" align=left border=0 alt="Jonberg Hancock"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: Cash Me In. I'm Done (Double Down)
If there's one thing that I do not like in comics, it's things that make me want to vomit. Compiling this list, I decided to choose characters whose deaths would make interesting stories or make me smile more. As much as I love and adore Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver, the idea of a man who peels off his skin to reveal a playing card underneath and then uses it as razor sharp projectile makes me feel a little green. Yet that's precisely what Double Down does. Oh, and his skin grows back eventually, but not before you see all his musculature underneath. Getting rid of this more than slightly squeamish sight would be a fantastic decision.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: The Butler Did It (Alfred Pennyworth)
This one makes me feel nasty. After all how could anyone want a poor defenseless old man to die? Especially one who isn't even really a hero. I mean, all he does is keep the place tidy. But I feel the time has come for one of comic's most well-known figures to finally kick the bucket. Alfred Pennyworth, your number is up. Batman's character keeps changing. One minute he's uber-intelligent and hanging with the JLA, the next he's back to gritty vigilante. If there's to be something to change his character, it should be permanent. Losing Jason Todd messed the Bat up bad; losing Alfred would be even worse. The guy who is effectively his father. The man who runs his whole life for him. This wouldn't be like losing a partner or a sidekick; this is like losing your parents. Again. Plus he'd have to learn how to use an iron. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not endorse using an iron while wearing a cape and facemask.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!? (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28073" target="_blank">Doomsday</a> & Mr. Miracle)
Just a couple of characters I'd like to see die once and for all as it'd be really fun seeing how they managed to do it. Doomsday can never be killed without evolving to defeat whatever killed him last. Somebody has to bring an end to this vicious circle. The other candidate is Mr. Miracle. This guy is better than Bond at escaping traps, and I'd like to see the one that spells the end for Scott Free.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Junior Bites the Bullet (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=268079" target="_blank">Captain Marvel Junior</a>)
Who remembers when life was sweet and easy, and all you were worried about was whether your apple was going to be the ripest teacher would get that morning? Anyone? Well, take a trip to Fawcett City and you'll find that pretty much everyone is used to that way of life. Somehow stuck in the 1950's, Fawcett City is protected by the man who sums up the Golden Age of American civilisation, Captain Marvel. This guy is basically Superman, but even more pure of heart and soul. I think that Captain Marvel and the rest of the Marvel family have been long overdue for a chance to shine. Perhaps what is needed to showcase just how gripping Captain Marvel could be is to change his character drastically. Let's kill Captain Marvel Junior!
This would be fascinating to see as Captain Marvel would be questioning his stance on fighting villainy. Does he do enough? Is his old fashioned attitude putting himself and his family at risk? To see Billy Batson develop a mean streak would be worth the price of admission alone. Either that, or kill off Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: Would-Be World Conqueror (Kanjar Ro)
There's a genre of comic book character in DC that is a tad overpopulated. The Would-be World Conqueror brigade numbers in the dozens. However, most of them are respectable, scary guys with legitimate resources to be a threat. Heck, even Mister Nebula was slightly threatening. Who'd really want their planet to get his make over? But then there's the guy who's short, pinky purple, and looks like a bug. Kanjar Ro, come on down. This guy caused a few minor problems for the JLA and hasn't done a whole lot else. Did I mention he looks like a bug? How intimidating is that? Y'know if Hitler had been 5'3", had a wiry frame, and huge bulging yellow eyes, I doubt there ever would have been a stir in Europe. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not support prejudice against the short, the wiry, or those with huge, bulging, hilarious yellow eyes.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: Two Birds With One Stone (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a> & Lois Lane)
So I'm in the mood for killing people for the sake of storylines. One of the most hyped up and disappointing deaths in comic history was that of the Big S himself. When Supes finally became worm food, nothing really changed. There were a few new characters, a nice cover on an issue or two, and an obvious resurrection. So I say enough. Let's not kill Superman, let's kill Clark Kent! (Yes, I know they're the same person.) Superman could be so much more than what he is. You think about your job, and then think how much more work you'd get done if you didn't go home and relax all the time. Granted, we need to relax... but we're not super. So I propose that the world get Superman protection 24/7. How do we do this? Simple, you kill Lois Lane. Without Lois, Clark wouldn't have a reason to live. All the friends he has are either metas or not really close enough to keep him tied to a civilian identity. Without Lois, Superman would be a loose cannon. The stories that could be told are vast in number and should all be high quality. Do it for the good of comics, Lois!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: You Let WHO Join? (Power Girl's Cat)
Yes, Power Girl's cat. It should die for three reasons: #1. It's a cat and thus inherently evil. #2. It makes G'nort and Scarlet Skiier look like credible JLA members. #3. We might get to see Power Girl more out of respect for her dead kitty. Maybe in a slinky black number.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Don't Fix What Isn't Broken (Hourman)
This is my one pick that no one is likely to agree with but that's because it's also the only character I get really, REALLY excited about. Don't ask me why, but Rex 'Tick Tock' Tyler, aka Hourman, is my favourite hero and always will be. The guy was fascinating as he transcended Golden Age and Silver Age titles and styles. He was constantly being updated. He was a pre-war hero yet suffered Modern Age problems like drug addiction and being a bad parent. Then his kid came along and ruined everything. Rick Tyler is possibly the blandest character that I've ever read. The only interesting sequences he's had are when he's talking to his dad. Now Rex is back with the JSA while Rick sits in some chronal anomaly trying to hold his guts in. Lets keep him there, I say, but without any arms so he dies a slow and drawn-out death. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not promote slow and painful deaths for children of drug-abusing parents.) Plus, it'd add yet another level to Rex's character. This death seems better each time I think of it.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: I Command The Sea, but Nobody Cares (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>)
One of the problems I had while compiling this list is that all characters can be redeemed through different writing. Geoff Johns did it with most of the JSA. Grant Morrison did it with the JLA as a team. Character after character was crossed off my list as I decided they could be used differently. But this guy... this guy has no hope. In his fifty-year history, Aquaman has had 5 cancelled solo series. His 6th and current series has been met with indifference again. This guy is meant to be one of the big 7 icons of the DCU... and yet NO ONE likes him. And why should they? His powers are bland, his character is bland, nothing makes him unique save his ability to talk to fish. Wow, FISH! He's the king of Atlantis and thus has no interaction with the majority of the DCU, making it ridiculously hard for a fan to form a connection with him. He's died before and no one missed him. The only good thing to come from Aquaman is the parody of Five for Fighting's Superman song which has been scandalously removed from the internet. It is time to give Orin the same treatment; only remove him from any form of media ever.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: Splitting the Atom (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28081" target="_blank">Atom Smasher</a>)
Atom Smasher gets my number one pick. Not a big name, not a popular character, and not an expected pick. However, I can see Al being one of the most likely casualties in Identity Crisis. I think Johns has gone as far as he can with the guy. Lets see.... He's had a stint with the JLA and JSA, he's had storylines about his sexuality, he's lost or nearly lost just about every family member or person that's been close to him, and has fought against the government. He's murdered the man who killed his idol. Most recently he was corrupted into fighting for evil and helped to cause the deaths of two other misled heroes. His relationships with Nemesis and Stargirl have been nicely finished off. Al has very few things to live for now and has always been the sort to sacrifice himself. Now's the time to take one for the team. Plus that old red Mohawk needs punishing.
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So that, we thought, was more like it. And perhaps fellow DC Junkie Zeb Aslam could add to the debate:
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar13426_3.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Zeb Aslam"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: The Incredible Shrinking Man (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26012" target="_blank">Atom</a>)
Simple reason...I don't like Ray Palmer (The Atom). No, I mean I REALLY don't like Ray Palmer. He's the ultimate deus ex machina device...and I hate those!!! Whenever the Justice League's in trouble and there's nary a solution in sight, who comes along? Why, it's Ray Palmer...the person with the incredible power to shrink! (May as well call him Doll-Man...) And he manages to outwit not only Batman, but also Steel, and all the rest because he's just so damned smart! Not to mention the fact that I hated the storyline which regressed him to a teenager, but anyway...off with his head!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: Right Down to Davy Jones' Locker! (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>)
Ah, Aquaman...so many reasons, so little space. Why don't I just go with the one problem I have with this character that no one has been able to resolve; and that's his inconstant origin. Each new volume (and I think there have been seven) seems to bring with it new 'insights' into the origin which each prove to worsen the character and confuse the hell out of the reader. Not to mention his powers!! Peter David did a great service to the character by giving him the hook, but now that storyline is gone, and instead we have a hand of water... WOW!! Water!! I'm so scared of this guy now. Sheesh...they may as well give him a purple monkey as a sidekick. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan likes purple monkeys.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: Where There's Thunder, There's Lightning! (Thunder)
This one's so obvious, I can't believe no one else thought of it. We all love Black Lightning, right? We all want to see him return to the spotlight like he has been doing recently in Outsiders, right? Well, I say kill off his daughter (that's Thunder, for those of you who don't know) and give him the motivation to become a full-time hero again. Let's face it, it would be incredibly easy to manage; Outsiders has an Identity Crisis tie-in, and we all know that nothing spells death like a tie-in. Kill her, I say...bring the glory of the Lightning back!!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Green Guys Always Die... don't they? (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>)
I don't really have any animosity towards J'onn (Martian Manhunter). Quite frankly, I think he's a great character; one of the most underused and underrated characters in the DCU, in fact. So, why do I want him dead? Because no one knows how to use him!!! The poor guy has the most bland and dry personality ever! He's subjected to a crippling fear of fire...c'mon, you mean to tell me he can't get over it even a little after all this time? It's not like he becomes weakened by it...it's psychological!!! Not to mention the fact that he's another one of those deus ex machina characters...and the only one who I can see really, really making a change if he dies. It all adds up to a big green splotch on the cosmic windscreen. Bye, J'onn...we barely knew thee.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: The Flash Needs Some Booty (Linda West)
The Flash has a secret identity again...and Linda has left him to "gather her thoughts." Now, let's translate that into comic-speak, shall we? "Wally, I love you. But unfortunately, in order to give you more depth, and also to allow you to go out and find new, more interesting female supporting characters which will allow you to cry, and do all sorts of other fun stuff, I have to die. Don't worry, since I'll have been gone from your book for so long, the 'fans' will recover quickly, and you will be so shattered that it'll make for a year's worth of emotional stories at least. Good-bye Wally...it's been a nice few years."
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: Two Isn't Really Better Than One (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25929" target="_blank">Firestorm</a>)
This one has a more practical bent to it. See, we have three Firestorms, 1) Ronnie Raymond, 2) Martin Stein, and 3) Jason Rusch/anyone who's around, apparently. So anyway, Firestorm in itself is a concept that never works well in comics. You make a guy that powerful and you expect people to relate to him? My bet is that since ol' Jason just got a new series...poor Ronnie is gonna bite the big one, and soon. I would say Martin, but since he's off in space and no one's even mentioned him in God knows how long, he won't exactly 'change' the DCU will he? Now, with Ronnie, at least if he dies in Identity Crisis... where his death could actually mean something, it would change the DCU...slightly. It will be sad to see Ronnie go, but for the love of sanity, and for the sake of fandom assembled...I think it's time Ronnie was released from bad writing and worse characterization.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: Ralph Needs Backbone... Seriously! (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28069" target="_blank">Sue Dibny</a>)
I think everyone who's been following the news columns and interviews which have been conducted with Meltzer over the past few months knows that Ralph Dibny (Elongated Man) is supposed to play a major, major role in the upcoming mini. Now, we all know Ralph loves a mystery, and can't resist a challenge. What would get Ralph to become a hero that could play in the big leagues again...and get respected for it? Why, nothing else but the death of his wife (That's Sue Dibny for those of you not in the know), of course! Ralph is one of those characters who is trapped by his Silver Age beginnings...funny as hell, but never taken seriously. With the death of Sue, we would see the rebirth of a new, more cynical Ralph...and I say, it's about time!
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Where's The Chameleon Woman? (Gypsy)
Who? Well...I'm glad you asked. During the time that the Justice League was headquartered in...of all places...Detroit, (that's right, the motor-car capital of the world!!) Gypsy was the token teenage runaway member who was something of a protege of J'onn. When this particular team disbanded... Gypsy went off to her parents... after which she was attacked by Despero, lost her parents, and joined the Justice League Task Force. She has been on the sidelines since then...recently appearing in Birds Of Prey. But c'mon...do we really need a second string heroine wandering around aimlessly in the DCU? It'll be a blessing for her and us if she dies...and J'onn can finally get some decent characterization as he mourns her loss.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: This Guy's Got Nothing On Hellboy! (Blue Devil)
Blue Devil has to be the lamest character ever...and I mean ever!!!... to be introduced in comics. Since simply explaining his lameness would just not work, I thought I would give you a mini bio to give you an idea of his lameness:
"Originally a movie stuntman transformed into a Hell-powered superhero by the demon Nebiros, Dan Cassidy later became part demon after a clash with Neron. He was killed by Holy Water while battling the super-villainess known as the Mist. During the Day of Judgement, the magician Faust resurrected him and helped him finally evolve into a true demon. Not showing any allegiance to Hell, he currently wields the Trident of Lucifer and uses it to find Demons on Earth and banish them back to the Underworld."
C'mon!!! Can we really let this travesty of a character live? We, and Meltzer, owe it to Comicdom Assembled to speedily get him killed. Soon... like now... or earlier... (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not authorize the use of time travel to kill demons. You had your chance in Zero Hour.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: The New Shall Always Make Way For The Old (The New Green Arrow)
Again, frightfully simple to see. Ever since Oliver Queen was brought back from the dead, we've essentially had two Green Arrows. While this was nice to see for a while, along the lines of a Bat-family...it just doesn't work in the Green Arrow part of the DC-Verse. Brad Meltzer, having written Green Arrow, understands the characters of the Green Arrow-family best... so who better to kill off then one of them? It can't be Ollie... he just came back, and it took him long enough the first time. It can't be Arsenal... he's in Outsiders, and he's in solicitations that go far beyond the Identity Crisis tie-in of that series. So, who does that leave? Why, Green Arrow Jr., Conner, of course! In fact, he is the only member of the GA-family whom we have not seen any talk about in quite some time... to throw off suspicion perhaps? I don't think I need to say anymore. He will die, I tell you... he will die!!!
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As Zeb cackled and continued to repeat, "he will die," the rest of us edged into the corner... where we found Nick Costanzo, cheerfully asking if he could submit a list. We didn't know what we were getting into....
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar199_6.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Nick Costanzo">Oh, so you say there's another industry-wide DC crossover coming out. Well gee, what with my utter lack of knowledge or even interest in 99% of what DC puts out, let me get my pillow and close my eyes for a few hundred minutes as you tell me all about it...
Wait, you mean someone's dying? Well, not that I think it'll last for more than about a half issue, but I could be more than obliged to offer a few suggestions as to who should go...
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26012" target="_blank">The Atom</a>
So in that JLA/Avengers thing a few months back, the Flash was out of commission, so they replaced him with the Atom. Wow. We lose our guy who can run at light speeds, but don't worry... this guy can shrink. I'm sure that'll come in real handy against galactic monsters and whatnot. Unless of course, someone just steps on him. THE ATOM VERSUS.... some guy's boot. Riveting. Kill the poor bastard already.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>
I'm almost certain this fool will end up on everyone's list, which is why he's ranked so low. Aquaman is a given. I believe Dave Chappelle said it best....
“Back when I was a kid, they'd have these contests where you say which one of these three superheroes you'd wanna be. They'd have Superman... the Green Lantern... and I'll never forget this: C) was Aquaman. Now who the hell is gonna pick Aquaman? The powers are only good underwater...”
Nobody likes you, Aquaman. I'd tell you to go drown yourself, but the cruel hand that fate has dealt us won't allow for it. So use your aquatic telepathy to tell a shark to eat you or something.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: Hawkman
What do you get when you mix He-Man with Archangel? Hawkman. I want this loser dead based on looks alone. I mean his mask has a freakin' beak on it. A BEAK! Totally unacceptable. Clip his wings, mid-flight, and watch him plummet to a messy splatty death. You'll be doing him, and by him, I mean me, a favor.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>
Telepathy. Stronger than Superman. Fast as crap. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone illegal crap-racing.) Shape-Shifting. Density Control. Green. This man has way too many powers. And his constant whining about his millenia-old dead family wouldn't be so bad if that wasn't the ONLY thing they ever bothered to dwell on with this guy. Unfortunately, based on the information I've derived from the various ComiX-Fan Vs. threads, to kill the Martian Manhunter you have to dig up the grave of a saint, light the bones on fire, douse your first-born son in lighter fluid and throw HIM into the fire as well, and then somehow convince MM to roll around in the resulting blaze for about a half hour.
So I guess what I'm saying is I'm off to go unearth St. Adrian of Nicomedia, and then I'm off to teach little Billy about “taking one for the team...”
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: That New Robin Chick, Whatshername.
I don't think it matters. All I know is that the female Robin I've seen on the covers of several upcoming DC Comics in the previews looks ugly as hell, especially with the weird pompom hair thing she's got going for her. Maybe her gruesome death will finally make Batman start questioning the whole “Robin” concept after all.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25849" target="_blank">Plastic Man</a>
Plastic Man. They gave Plastic Man his own friggin' comic. And it looks like it was drawn by a blind eight-year-old quadriplegic (yes, that means he has no arms... I assume it was drawn via the mouth in some manner). But I have an even better idea for Plastic Man exposure: Plastic Man action figures! You see, first we boil this idiot down until he's good and dead, and then we make little toys out of him from the very same plastic that used to BE him! Sure, when little kids get him for Christmas the response will be, "Um.... thank you?", but hey, DC wants promotion, and goddammit, there will BE promotion.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: Captain Marvel
Because dammit, this is DC, and I don't really care whether Marvel's Captain Marvel or DC's Captain Marvel came first. One of them's gotta go 'cause it's damn confusing, and I vote for DC's, just because their Captain Marvel looks like a total jackass with a lightning bolt on his shirt. Marvel's CM is a psycho now, anyway. Lets have him travel to the DCU and kill their Captain Marvel for having the same name as him. Seems reasonable enough to me.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a>
Okay, imagine this. Lex Luthor takes his entire supply of Kryptonite. He fashions a Kryptonite Uzi with hundreds of Kryptonite bullets, and then proceeds to enter his pimped out ride, which of course is also made out of Kryptonite. He cruises around Metropolis, waiting for Superman to show up. The second that sucka shows his face, Lex drives by, unloads the entire clip into Superman's insufferably primary colors, all the while screaming “LUTHOR, BIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Damn that would be awesome.
(Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not... hell, actually, I'd pay good money to see that.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26812" target="_blank">Krypto</a>
You know what would be even more awesome? Right before Luthor sprays Superman in a driveby, he runs over Superman's stupid-ass super-dog with his Kryptonite tires (and pimped out Kryptonite rims, reco'nise). Highest selling Superman issue of all time right there.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: JLA-Man
Yes, if I were writing JLA, I'd fashion a threat so absurdly huge that there would be only one possible way to beat it. The entire JLA would magically form into a single entity, JLA-Man! The strength of Superman and Wonder Woman and all the rest! The rings of Green Lantern! The mind of Batman and Martian Manhunter! The fish-talkyness of Aquaman! Truly this would be a warrior to be feared.
And just to show the fans of DC how much respect I have for these characters and all their dynamic history... JLA-Man would be defeated by none other than Wolverine. Yep, you heard right. Complete with a standard one “bub” per panel, Wolverine would totally kick JLA-Man's ass, and say something along the lines of “I'm the best at what I do, and what I do is ruin yo' punk-asses' ****.”
Because as overplayed, overexposed, and overdone as Wolverine is... he's still not as bad as the Justice League. The end.
Now can someone tell me what the hell this “Identity Crisis” thing is?
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While Nick drafted his submission to the editors of the Superman books, we managed to find another DC fan to bite the bullet and tell us who should kick the bucket. Tan K. said....
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar499_7.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Tan K."><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: My, How The Mighty Have Fallen (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28073" target="_blank">Doomsday</a>)
Say what you want about the Death of Superman idea. All I know is that Doomsday was one bad mutha, and he took it to everyone. Every time since that "fateful" issue when he took Supes down, he has been reduced to half or a quarter of his former self. Actually, this is more a statement of how I hate inconsistent writing. If a man can kill Superman and demolish the JLA one time, then by God he should be able to do it again.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: Riddle Me This: Who Sucks At Making Batman Movies? (Joel Schumacher)
How can a man who has Val Kilmer (in his prime), Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Tommy Lee Jones, George Clooney, and Uma Thurman make such disgraceful movies?
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: "Can I Buy A Vowel?" (Mr. Myxzptlk)
Hey, how many times can an imp fall for the same trick of saying his name backwards? It was fine as an episode on Superfriends, but in comics? Behead the man! (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan will not... hmmmmm... Pimp Luthor....)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: New Gods Fodder (Orion & Big Barda)
Jack Kirby created an incredible world in the New Gods, but these two get on my nerves. Thor and Wonder Woman with no personality. Maybe they'll get Mother Boxed into the Source.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: Yawwwwwwn (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26566" target="_blank">Steel</a>)
Boooooring....smelt, anyone?
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: More is Not Necessarily Better (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>, M'onel, & Captain Marvel)
Superman is the grandfather of heroes. He is strong, fast, blah, blah, blah.... Fair enough. Why do you need these other guys then? More disappointing, writers pretend that they aren't ultra-powerful. These guys alone should have the world in utopian shape by now. How do writers hide it? They decide to subjugate the characters to the background of each story. Just merge them into Superman or something already. Uber-powerful heroes is so not in.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: I'm Rubber, You're Rubber... Hell, Forget It (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25849" target="_blank">Plastic Man</a>)
I know Joe Kelly tried to spiff the guy up, but he is annoying as hell. To be honest, I didn't mind him until that whole Trial by Fire story in JLA. He's comic relief. He can stretch his nose into any crevice. That's his purpose in comicdom. Why the need to make him any more?
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Death By Insanity (Joker)
I know he is The-Batman villain, but it's not like he's on the same mental level as Luthor or has the depth of Magneto. There are only so many times he can go psychotic on Gotham and shoot someone. He's overused and a plot device at best now. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not promote the use of the Joker as a basis for DC crossover events. It turned out really bad last time.)
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: Gone In A Flash (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26791" target="_blank">Kid Flash</a>, formerly Impulse)
Just 'cause.
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: Green Lantern Corpses (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27427" target="_blank">Guy Gardner</a>, <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25831" target="_blank">John Stewart</a>, & Kyle Rayner)
To clean the platter for the upcoming Rebirth mini, get rid of these guys. Guy Gardner? 'Nuff Said. John Stewart? When was the last time he had a personality? Kyle? DC tried, but he's the Rodimus Prime of the Green Lantern mythos. He is nowhere near as strong, confident, cool, etc., as Hal. Give the Matrix back to Hal, Kyle, for everyone's sake.
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And... there you have it. Five different viewpoints, fifty picks total, some DC lovers, some DC haters, and one guy that just scares us.
Don't forget to vote for the best list in our poll....
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The opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the writers, and are not reflective of ComiX-Fan or its other staff in general.