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View Full Version : THE COMIX-TEN #9: TOP 10 IDENTITY CRISIS DEMISES


Jim Lemoine
Jun 9, 2004, 03:12 pm
<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/comix10_logo.gif" align=left border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">The Top 10 Identity Crisis Demises


Writers: Zeb Aslam, Nick Costanzo, Jon Hancock, Tan K., and Zachary Palisoc
Editor: Jim Lemoine

Perhaps no single word in all of comicdom carries such vast meaning and apprehension as the word, "Crisis." Crisis On Infinite Earths, besides being the first true mega-crossover and universe-redefining event, was one of the formative works of superhero comic literature. Crisis means change. Crisis means epic. And the bit that causes all the anxiety... Crisis means death.

In the upcoming Identity Crisis from DC Comics, the comics giant is set to again raise the bar on the mega-crossover. Early reports and first looks suggest that this is going to be the really groundbreaking DC series we've been waiting for for a long time. Beyond the epic scale and grand proportions this series will have... we also know that somebody's gonna die. Who will it be? Who should it be? Will the Flash franchise take another hit? Will a Superkid bite the bullet again? Will it be a ring-wielder, an archer, or Bat protege?

We asked a cross-section of ComiX-Fan writers, some die-hard DC fanatics... and one, in particular, who doesn't seem to care for the Distinguished Competition that much. In any event, read on and vote for the best list; here's what they came up with for the Top 10 Identity Crisis Demises.


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First to stick his neck into the fray was Zachary Palisoc, (a.k.a. Mr. I'm-too-Sexy-for-an-Avatar) who prefers his entries short and sweet... just like him:

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27142" target="_blank">The Elongated Man</a>
What is this? You mean to tell me there's a rip-off of Reed Richards in the DC universe, only minus the intelligence and the coolness factor? Off with his head and the rest of his stretchy parts!








<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26567" target="_blank">Superboy</a>
Because clones should not be allowed to exist, period.









<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>
Most boring character in the DC universe, ever. Even his sales are tanking. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan is not responsible for injuries caused by or incurred while reading really, really, really bad puns) Next!








<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Catwoman
The movie trailer alone is justification enough.









<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a>
Why? Why couldn't he just have stayed dead the first time?!









<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>
This is one of the few DC characters I actually like, so why do I want him to die? Because, other than Batman, he's the most overpowered member of the team and a convenient plot device.








<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4 & #3: (tie) Tim Drake (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26942" target="_blank">Robin</a>) and Dick Grayson (Nightwing)
Because all proteges of Batman should die. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone violence against minors, unless they liked the Batman & Robin movie, in which case we encourage it) Jason Todd should have been the last and the only Robin. You think Bruce would learn his lesson after that little ugly incident, but nooo, he just keeps on spawning Robins. And now the latest one is a girl! Oy, will he never learn? At any rate, Dick is way cooler than Tim Drake, but still, they have no business doing men's work. I say let the Birds of Prey take over!

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26196" target="_blank">Batman</a>
Bruce Wayne used to be cool, but now he has became an brooding shadow of himself. (see Hush) Kill him off and let the Birds of Prey take over Gotham City. They're much cooler.








<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zachpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: The Green Lanterns (Kyle Rayner & Hal Jordan)
This is the book (other than the Superman books during his "death") that made me drop DC comics. Even though my memory is fuzzy, I remember I just couldn't get into a guy wielding some magic ring and using it to save the universe. The fact of the matter is, I have never liked any incarnation of Green Lantern. Not Hal Jordan, not Kyle Rayner, and especially not the one appearing in the Justice League cartoon (John Stewart). What each of these men had in common was a plot device to make up for the lack of personality behind it. Even Batman had more personality in his cowl than these guys, and that's why I believe a Green Lantern should be the one to die in Identity Crisis.

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Of course, then I realized my mistake: maybe I should have asked someone who actually liked the DC Universe to write? Luckily, Jon Hancock (a.k.a. Jonberg) fit the bill:

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/avatar.php?userid=3822&dateline=1063985599" align=left border=0 alt="Jonberg Hancock"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: Cash Me In. I'm Done (Double Down)
If there's one thing that I do not like in comics, it's things that make me want to vomit. Compiling this list, I decided to choose characters whose deaths would make interesting stories or make me smile more. As much as I love and adore Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver, the idea of a man who peels off his skin to reveal a playing card underneath and then uses it as razor sharp projectile makes me feel a little green. Yet that's precisely what Double Down does. Oh, and his skin grows back eventually, but not before you see all his musculature underneath. Getting rid of this more than slightly squeamish sight would be a fantastic decision.



<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: The Butler Did It (Alfred Pennyworth)
This one makes me feel nasty. After all how could anyone want a poor defenseless old man to die? Especially one who isn't even really a hero. I mean, all he does is keep the place tidy. But I feel the time has come for one of comic's most well-known figures to finally kick the bucket. Alfred Pennyworth, your number is up. Batman's character keeps changing. One minute he's uber-intelligent and hanging with the JLA, the next he's back to gritty vigilante. If there's to be something to change his character, it should be permanent. Losing Jason Todd messed the Bat up bad; losing Alfred would be even worse. The guy who is effectively his father. The man who runs his whole life for him. This wouldn't be like losing a partner or a sidekick; this is like losing your parents. Again. Plus he'd have to learn how to use an iron. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not endorse using an iron while wearing a cape and facemask.)

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE?!? (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28073" target="_blank">Doomsday</a> & Mr. Miracle)
Just a couple of characters I'd like to see die once and for all as it'd be really fun seeing how they managed to do it. Doomsday can never be killed without evolving to defeat whatever killed him last. Somebody has to bring an end to this vicious circle. The other candidate is Mr. Miracle. This guy is better than Bond at escaping traps, and I'd like to see the one that spells the end for Scott Free.






<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Junior Bites the Bullet (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=268079" target="_blank">Captain Marvel Junior</a>)
Who remembers when life was sweet and easy, and all you were worried about was whether your apple was going to be the ripest teacher would get that morning? Anyone? Well, take a trip to Fawcett City and you'll find that pretty much everyone is used to that way of life. Somehow stuck in the 1950's, Fawcett City is protected by the man who sums up the Golden Age of American civilisation, Captain Marvel. This guy is basically Superman, but even more pure of heart and soul. I think that Captain Marvel and the rest of the Marvel family have been long overdue for a chance to shine. Perhaps what is needed to showcase just how gripping Captain Marvel could be is to change his character drastically. Let's kill Captain Marvel Junior!

This would be fascinating to see as Captain Marvel would be questioning his stance on fighting villainy. Does he do enough? Is his old fashioned attitude putting himself and his family at risk? To see Billy Batson develop a mean streak would be worth the price of admission alone. Either that, or kill off Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: Would-Be World Conqueror (Kanjar Ro)
There's a genre of comic book character in DC that is a tad overpopulated. The Would-be World Conqueror brigade numbers in the dozens. However, most of them are respectable, scary guys with legitimate resources to be a threat. Heck, even Mister Nebula was slightly threatening. Who'd really want their planet to get his make over? But then there's the guy who's short, pinky purple, and looks like a bug. Kanjar Ro, come on down. This guy caused a few minor problems for the JLA and hasn't done a whole lot else. Did I mention he looks like a bug? How intimidating is that? Y'know if Hitler had been 5'3", had a wiry frame, and huge bulging yellow eyes, I doubt there ever would have been a stir in Europe. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not support prejudice against the short, the wiry, or those with huge, bulging, hilarious yellow eyes.)


<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: Two Birds With One Stone (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a> & Lois Lane)
So I'm in the mood for killing people for the sake of storylines. One of the most hyped up and disappointing deaths in comic history was that of the Big S himself. When Supes finally became worm food, nothing really changed. There were a few new characters, a nice cover on an issue or two, and an obvious resurrection. So I say enough. Let's not kill Superman, let's kill Clark Kent! (Yes, I know they're the same person.) Superman could be so much more than what he is. You think about your job, and then think how much more work you'd get done if you didn't go home and relax all the time. Granted, we need to relax... but we're not super. So I propose that the world get Superman protection 24/7. How do we do this? Simple, you kill Lois Lane. Without Lois, Clark wouldn't have a reason to live. All the friends he has are either metas or not really close enough to keep him tied to a civilian identity. Without Lois, Superman would be a loose cannon. The stories that could be told are vast in number and should all be high quality. Do it for the good of comics, Lois!

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: You Let WHO Join? (Power Girl's Cat)
Yes, Power Girl's cat. It should die for three reasons: #1. It's a cat and thus inherently evil. #2. It makes G'nort and Scarlet Skiier look like credible JLA members. #3. We might get to see Power Girl more out of respect for her dead kitty. Maybe in a slinky black number.


<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Don't Fix What Isn't Broken (Hourman)
This is my one pick that no one is likely to agree with but that's because it's also the only character I get really, REALLY excited about. Don't ask me why, but Rex 'Tick Tock' Tyler, aka Hourman, is my favourite hero and always will be. The guy was fascinating as he transcended Golden Age and Silver Age titles and styles. He was constantly being updated. He was a pre-war hero yet suffered Modern Age problems like drug addiction and being a bad parent. Then his kid came along and ruined everything. Rick Tyler is possibly the blandest character that I've ever read. The only interesting sequences he's had are when he's talking to his dad. Now Rex is back with the JSA while Rick sits in some chronal anomaly trying to hold his guts in. Lets keep him there, I say, but without any arms so he dies a slow and drawn-out death. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not promote slow and painful deaths for children of drug-abusing parents.) Plus, it'd add yet another level to Rex's character. This death seems better each time I think of it.

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: I Command The Sea, but Nobody Cares (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>)
One of the problems I had while compiling this list is that all characters can be redeemed through different writing. Geoff Johns did it with most of the JSA. Grant Morrison did it with the JLA as a team. Character after character was crossed off my list as I decided they could be used differently. But this guy... this guy has no hope. In his fifty-year history, Aquaman has had 5 cancelled solo series. His 6th and current series has been met with indifference again. This guy is meant to be one of the big 7 icons of the DCU... and yet NO ONE likes him. And why should they? His powers are bland, his character is bland, nothing makes him unique save his ability to talk to fish. Wow, FISH! He's the king of Atlantis and thus has no interaction with the majority of the DCU, making it ridiculously hard for a fan to form a connection with him. He's died before and no one missed him. The only good thing to come from Aquaman is the parody of Five for Fighting's Superman song which has been scandalously removed from the internet. It is time to give Orin the same treatment; only remove him from any form of media ever.

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Jonpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: Splitting the Atom (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28081" target="_blank">Atom Smasher</a>)
Atom Smasher gets my number one pick. Not a big name, not a popular character, and not an expected pick. However, I can see Al being one of the most likely casualties in Identity Crisis. I think Johns has gone as far as he can with the guy. Lets see.... He's had a stint with the JLA and JSA, he's had storylines about his sexuality, he's lost or nearly lost just about every family member or person that's been close to him, and has fought against the government. He's murdered the man who killed his idol. Most recently he was corrupted into fighting for evil and helped to cause the deaths of two other misled heroes. His relationships with Nemesis and Stargirl have been nicely finished off. Al has very few things to live for now and has always been the sort to sacrifice himself. Now's the time to take one for the team. Plus that old red Mohawk needs punishing.

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So that, we thought, was more like it. And perhaps fellow DC Junkie Zeb Aslam could add to the debate:

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar13426_3.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Zeb Aslam"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: The Incredible Shrinking Man (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26012" target="_blank">Atom</a>)
Simple reason...I don't like Ray Palmer (The Atom). No, I mean I REALLY don't like Ray Palmer. He's the ultimate deus ex machina device...and I hate those!!! Whenever the Justice League's in trouble and there's nary a solution in sight, who comes along? Why, it's Ray Palmer...the person with the incredible power to shrink! (May as well call him Doll-Man...) And he manages to outwit not only Batman, but also Steel, and all the rest because he's just so damned smart! Not to mention the fact that I hated the storyline which regressed him to a teenager, but anyway...off with his head!




<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: Right Down to Davy Jones' Locker! (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>)
Ah, Aquaman...so many reasons, so little space. Why don't I just go with the one problem I have with this character that no one has been able to resolve; and that's his inconstant origin. Each new volume (and I think there have been seven) seems to bring with it new 'insights' into the origin which each prove to worsen the character and confuse the hell out of the reader. Not to mention his powers!! Peter David did a great service to the character by giving him the hook, but now that storyline is gone, and instead we have a hand of water... WOW!! Water!! I'm so scared of this guy now. Sheesh...they may as well give him a purple monkey as a sidekick. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan likes purple monkeys.)



<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: Where There's Thunder, There's Lightning! (Thunder)
This one's so obvious, I can't believe no one else thought of it. We all love Black Lightning, right? We all want to see him return to the spotlight like he has been doing recently in Outsiders, right? Well, I say kill off his daughter (that's Thunder, for those of you who don't know) and give him the motivation to become a full-time hero again. Let's face it, it would be incredibly easy to manage; Outsiders has an Identity Crisis tie-in, and we all know that nothing spells death like a tie-in. Kill her, I say...bring the glory of the Lightning back!!





<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: Green Guys Always Die... don't they? (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>)
I don't really have any animosity towards J'onn (Martian Manhunter). Quite frankly, I think he's a great character; one of the most underused and underrated characters in the DCU, in fact. So, why do I want him dead? Because no one knows how to use him!!! The poor guy has the most bland and dry personality ever! He's subjected to a crippling fear of fire...c'mon, you mean to tell me he can't get over it even a little after all this time? It's not like he becomes weakened by it...it's psychological!!! Not to mention the fact that he's another one of those deus ex machina characters...and the only one who I can see really, really making a change if he dies. It all adds up to a big green splotch on the cosmic windscreen. Bye, J'onn...we barely knew thee.



<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: The Flash Needs Some Booty (Linda West)
The Flash has a secret identity again...and Linda has left him to "gather her thoughts." Now, let's translate that into comic-speak, shall we? "Wally, I love you. But unfortunately, in order to give you more depth, and also to allow you to go out and find new, more interesting female supporting characters which will allow you to cry, and do all sorts of other fun stuff, I have to die. Don't worry, since I'll have been gone from your book for so long, the 'fans' will recover quickly, and you will be so shattered that it'll make for a year's worth of emotional stories at least. Good-bye Wally...it's been a nice few years."




<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: Two Isn't Really Better Than One (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25929" target="_blank">Firestorm</a>)
This one has a more practical bent to it. See, we have three Firestorms, 1) Ronnie Raymond, 2) Martin Stein, and 3) Jason Rusch/anyone who's around, apparently. So anyway, Firestorm in itself is a concept that never works well in comics. You make a guy that powerful and you expect people to relate to him? My bet is that since ol' Jason just got a new series...poor Ronnie is gonna bite the big one, and soon. I would say Martin, but since he's off in space and no one's even mentioned him in God knows how long, he won't exactly 'change' the DCU will he? Now, with Ronnie, at least if he dies in Identity Crisis... where his death could actually mean something, it would change the DCU...slightly. It will be sad to see Ronnie go, but for the love of sanity, and for the sake of fandom assembled...I think it's time Ronnie was released from bad writing and worse characterization.

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: Ralph Needs Backbone... Seriously! (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28069" target="_blank">Sue Dibny</a>)
I think everyone who's been following the news columns and interviews which have been conducted with Meltzer over the past few months knows that Ralph Dibny (Elongated Man) is supposed to play a major, major role in the upcoming mini. Now, we all know Ralph loves a mystery, and can't resist a challenge. What would get Ralph to become a hero that could play in the big leagues again...and get respected for it? Why, nothing else but the death of his wife (That's Sue Dibny for those of you not in the know), of course! Ralph is one of those characters who is trapped by his Silver Age beginnings...funny as hell, but never taken seriously. With the death of Sue, we would see the rebirth of a new, more cynical Ralph...and I say, it's about time!


<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Where's The Chameleon Woman? (Gypsy)
Who? Well...I'm glad you asked. During the time that the Justice League was headquartered in...of all places...Detroit, (that's right, the motor-car capital of the world!!) Gypsy was the token teenage runaway member who was something of a protege of J'onn. When this particular team disbanded... Gypsy went off to her parents... after which she was attacked by Despero, lost her parents, and joined the Justice League Task Force. She has been on the sidelines since then...recently appearing in Birds Of Prey. But c'mon...do we really need a second string heroine wandering around aimlessly in the DCU? It'll be a blessing for her and us if she dies...and J'onn can finally get some decent characterization as he mourns her loss.

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: This Guy's Got Nothing On Hellboy! (Blue Devil)
Blue Devil has to be the lamest character ever...and I mean ever!!!... to be introduced in comics. Since simply explaining his lameness would just not work, I thought I would give you a mini bio to give you an idea of his lameness:
"Originally a movie stuntman transformed into a Hell-powered superhero by the demon Nebiros, Dan Cassidy later became part demon after a clash with Neron. He was killed by Holy Water while battling the super-villainess known as the Mist. During the Day of Judgement, the magician Faust resurrected him and helped him finally evolve into a true demon. Not showing any allegiance to Hell, he currently wields the Trident of Lucifer and uses it to find Demons on Earth and banish them back to the Underworld."

C'mon!!! Can we really let this travesty of a character live? We, and Meltzer, owe it to Comicdom Assembled to speedily get him killed. Soon... like now... or earlier... (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not authorize the use of time travel to kill demons. You had your chance in Zero Hour.)

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Zebpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: The New Shall Always Make Way For The Old (The New Green Arrow)
Again, frightfully simple to see. Ever since Oliver Queen was brought back from the dead, we've essentially had two Green Arrows. While this was nice to see for a while, along the lines of a Bat-family...it just doesn't work in the Green Arrow part of the DC-Verse. Brad Meltzer, having written Green Arrow, understands the characters of the Green Arrow-family best... so who better to kill off then one of them? It can't be Ollie... he just came back, and it took him long enough the first time. It can't be Arsenal... he's in Outsiders, and he's in solicitations that go far beyond the Identity Crisis tie-in of that series. So, who does that leave? Why, Green Arrow Jr., Conner, of course! In fact, he is the only member of the GA-family whom we have not seen any talk about in quite some time... to throw off suspicion perhaps? I don't think I need to say anymore. He will die, I tell you... he will die!!!

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As Zeb cackled and continued to repeat, "he will die," the rest of us edged into the corner... where we found Nick Costanzo, cheerfully asking if he could submit a list. We didn't know what we were getting into....

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar199_6.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Nick Costanzo">Oh, so you say there's another industry-wide DC crossover coming out. Well gee, what with my utter lack of knowledge or even interest in 99% of what DC puts out, let me get my pillow and close my eyes for a few hundred minutes as you tell me all about it...

Wait, you mean someone's dying? Well, not that I think it'll last for more than about a half issue, but I could be more than obliged to offer a few suggestions as to who should go...

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26012" target="_blank">The Atom</a>
So in that JLA/Avengers thing a few months back, the Flash was out of commission, so they replaced him with the Atom. Wow. We lose our guy who can run at light speeds, but don't worry... this guy can shrink. I'm sure that'll come in real handy against galactic monsters and whatnot. Unless of course, someone just steps on him. THE ATOM VERSUS.... some guy's boot. Riveting. Kill the poor bastard already.






<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27035" target="_blank">Aquaman</a>
I'm almost certain this fool will end up on everyone's list, which is why he's ranked so low. Aquaman is a given. I believe Dave Chappelle said it best....

“Back when I was a kid, they'd have these contests where you say which one of these three superheroes you'd wanna be. They'd have Superman... the Green Lantern... and I'll never forget this: C) was Aquaman. Now who the hell is gonna pick Aquaman? The powers are only good underwater...”

Nobody likes you, Aquaman. I'd tell you to go drown yourself, but the cruel hand that fate has dealt us won't allow for it. So use your aquatic telepathy to tell a shark to eat you or something.

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: Hawkman
What do you get when you mix He-Man with Archangel? Hawkman. I want this loser dead based on looks alone. I mean his mask has a freakin' beak on it. A BEAK! Totally unacceptable. Clip his wings, mid-flight, and watch him plummet to a messy splatty death. You'll be doing him, and by him, I mean me, a favor.







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>
Telepathy. Stronger than Superman. Fast as crap. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone illegal crap-racing.) Shape-Shifting. Density Control. Green. This man has way too many powers. And his constant whining about his millenia-old dead family wouldn't be so bad if that wasn't the ONLY thing they ever bothered to dwell on with this guy. Unfortunately, based on the information I've derived from the various ComiX-Fan Vs. threads, to kill the Martian Manhunter you have to dig up the grave of a saint, light the bones on fire, douse your first-born son in lighter fluid and throw HIM into the fire as well, and then somehow convince MM to roll around in the resulting blaze for about a half hour.

So I guess what I'm saying is I'm off to go unearth St. Adrian of Nicomedia, and then I'm off to teach little Billy about “taking one for the team...”

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: That New Robin Chick, Whatshername.
I don't think it matters. All I know is that the female Robin I've seen on the covers of several upcoming DC Comics in the previews looks ugly as hell, especially with the weird pompom hair thing she's got going for her. Maybe her gruesome death will finally make Batman start questioning the whole “Robin” concept after all.






<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25849" target="_blank">Plastic Man</a>
Plastic Man. They gave Plastic Man his own friggin' comic. And it looks like it was drawn by a blind eight-year-old quadriplegic (yes, that means he has no arms... I assume it was drawn via the mouth in some manner). But I have an even better idea for Plastic Man exposure: Plastic Man action figures! You see, first we boil this idiot down until he's good and dead, and then we make little toys out of him from the very same plastic that used to BE him! Sure, when little kids get him for Christmas the response will be, "Um.... thank you?", but hey, DC wants promotion, and goddammit, there will BE promotion.




<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: Captain Marvel
Because dammit, this is DC, and I don't really care whether Marvel's Captain Marvel or DC's Captain Marvel came first. One of them's gotta go 'cause it's damn confusing, and I vote for DC's, just because their Captain Marvel looks like a total jackass with a lightning bolt on his shirt. Marvel's CM is a psycho now, anyway. Lets have him travel to the DCU and kill their Captain Marvel for having the same name as him. Seems reasonable enough to me.





<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25931" target="_blank">Superman</a>
Okay, imagine this. Lex Luthor takes his entire supply of Kryptonite. He fashions a Kryptonite Uzi with hundreds of Kryptonite bullets, and then proceeds to enter his pimped out ride, which of course is also made out of Kryptonite. He cruises around Metropolis, waiting for Superman to show up. The second that sucka shows his face, Lex drives by, unloads the entire clip into Superman's insufferably primary colors, all the while screaming “LUTHOR, BIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Damn that would be awesome.

(Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not... hell, actually, I'd pay good money to see that.)

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26812" target="_blank">Krypto</a>
You know what would be even more awesome? Right before Luthor sprays Superman in a driveby, he runs over Superman's stupid-ass super-dog with his Kryptonite tires (and pimped out Kryptonite rims, reco'nise). Highest selling Superman issue of all time right there.







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Nickpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: JLA-Man
Yes, if I were writing JLA, I'd fashion a threat so absurdly huge that there would be only one possible way to beat it. The entire JLA would magically form into a single entity, JLA-Man! The strength of Superman and Wonder Woman and all the rest! The rings of Green Lantern! The mind of Batman and Martian Manhunter! The fish-talkyness of Aquaman! Truly this would be a warrior to be feared.

And just to show the fans of DC how much respect I have for these characters and all their dynamic history... JLA-Man would be defeated by none other than Wolverine. Yep, you heard right. Complete with a standard one “bub” per panel, Wolverine would totally kick JLA-Man's ass, and say something along the lines of “I'm the best at what I do, and what I do is ruin yo' punk-asses' ****.”

Because as overplayed, overexposed, and overdone as Wolverine is... he's still not as bad as the Justice League. The end.

Now can someone tell me what the hell this “Identity Crisis” thing is?

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While Nick drafted his submission to the editors of the Superman books, we managed to find another DC fan to bite the bullet and tell us who should kick the bucket. Tan K. said....

<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/custom_avatars/avatar499_7.gif" align=left border=0 alt="Tan K."><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick10.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#10: My, How The Mighty Have Fallen (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=28073" target="_blank">Doomsday</a>)
Say what you want about the Death of Superman idea. All I know is that Doomsday was one bad mutha, and he took it to everyone. Every time since that "fateful" issue when he took Supes down, he has been reduced to half or a quarter of his former self. Actually, this is more a statement of how I hate inconsistent writing. If a man can kill Superman and demolish the JLA one time, then by God he should be able to do it again.





<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick9.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#9: Riddle Me This: Who Sucks At Making Batman Movies? (Joel Schumacher)
How can a man who has Val Kilmer (in his prime), Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Tommy Lee Jones, George Clooney, and Uma Thurman make such disgraceful movies?







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick8.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#8: "Can I Buy A Vowel?" (Mr. Myxzptlk)
Hey, how many times can an imp fall for the same trick of saying his name backwards? It was fine as an episode on Superfriends, but in comics? Behead the man! (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan will not... hmmmmm... Pimp Luthor....)







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick7.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#7: New Gods Fodder (Orion & Big Barda)
Jack Kirby created an incredible world in the New Gods, but these two get on my nerves. Thor and Wonder Woman with no personality. Maybe they'll get Mother Boxed into the Source.







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick6.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#6: Yawwwwwwn (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26566" target="_blank">Steel</a>)
Boooooring....smelt, anyone?










<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick5.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#5: More is Not Necessarily Better (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26199" target="_blank">Martian Manhunter</a>, M'onel, & Captain Marvel)
Superman is the grandfather of heroes. He is strong, fast, blah, blah, blah.... Fair enough. Why do you need these other guys then? More disappointing, writers pretend that they aren't ultra-powerful. These guys alone should have the world in utopian shape by now. How do writers hide it? They decide to subjugate the characters to the background of each story. Just merge them into Superman or something already. Uber-powerful heroes is so not in.



<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick4.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#4: I'm Rubber, You're Rubber... Hell, Forget It (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25849" target="_blank">Plastic Man</a>)
I know Joe Kelly tried to spiff the guy up, but he is annoying as hell. To be honest, I didn't mind him until that whole Trial by Fire story in JLA. He's comic relief. He can stretch his nose into any crevice. That's his purpose in comicdom. Why the need to make him any more?







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick3.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#3: Death By Insanity (Joker)
I know he is The-Batman villain, but it's not like he's on the same mental level as Luthor or has the depth of Magneto. There are only so many times he can go psychotic on Gotham and shoot someone. He's overused and a plot device at best now. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not promote the use of the Joker as a basis for DC crossover events. It turned out really bad last time.)







<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick2.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#2: Gone In A Flash (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26791" target="_blank">Kid Flash</a>, formerly Impulse)
Just 'cause.










<img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/columns/cx109/Tanpick1.jpg" align=right border=0 alt="ComiX-Ten">#1: Green Lantern Corpses (<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=27427" target="_blank">Guy Gardner</a>, <a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=25831" target="_blank">John Stewart</a>, & Kyle Rayner)
To clean the platter for the upcoming Rebirth mini, get rid of these guys. Guy Gardner? 'Nuff Said. John Stewart? When was the last time he had a personality? Kyle? DC tried, but he's the Rodimus Prime of the Green Lantern mythos. He is nowhere near as strong, confident, cool, etc., as Hal. Give the Matrix back to Hal, Kyle, for everyone's sake.

<center><hr width=75%></center>

And... there you have it. Five different viewpoints, fifty picks total, some DC lovers, some DC haters, and one guy that just scares us.

Don't forget to vote for the best list in our poll....

<center><hr width=75%></center>

The opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the writers, and are not reflective of ComiX-Fan or its other staff in general.

GambitXtreme
Jun 9, 2004, 03:30 pm
I think I hated one part of every list.

In an event of this magnitude, that is getting this much publicity, it better pay off. When Superman died the first time? They should have left him dead.

HOWEVER, if I were to choose one person who would really effect the DC Universe?

I'd go with the Female Robin, aka Spoiler.

I would NOT EVER condone the death of Tim Drake or especially Dick Grayson. Nightwing is my favorite DC Character.

Okay, that being said, my top five, because I don't think there are enough real heavy hitters to make a difference:

5) Hal Jordan. Again. I like Kyle Rayner. Sue me. Any super hero with streaks of white hair should go down the toilet. No one wants to see middle aged men in spandex. Unless they have a healing factor.

4) Power Girl Alright, she's not a heavy hitter. But, she's Supe's cousin or whatever, so offing her might have some effect. She's not original.

3) Elongated Man He's a bad, bad version of Mr. Fantastic and Plastic Man combined.

2) Aquaman He's just so lame.

1) The New Robin Obviously, people liked Tim Drake. Her death would make a good reason to get him back into the green, gold and red.

Nathan J. Wilson
Jun 9, 2004, 03:54 pm
I'm trying to care about all this ID Crisis stuff. I really am. Wally is pretty much safe, and he's the only character I'm currently connecting with in the DCU.

Out of the others on my pull list:

Green Lantern: Hmm... Maybe Kyle will die. Specially as *yawn* Hal is coming back and this is getting dropped soon. Blaze of glory and I'd be pretty much happy.

Aquaman: Liked the first couple of arcs, but this is pretty boring. Be nice to have a full run.

Green Arrow: Like Conner hope he makes it. Wish Ollie had stayed dead. Out of the two of them Conner is the one in most trouble.

Titans: Pretty much everyones safe.

JLA: Not much going on here, nothing will change that won't be put right again.

Hawkman: Not sure how long I'm giving this after John's departure, since it was him that got me into it. Be nice to have a full run tho.

I'm done.

Oh yeah, forgot. Voted Zeb.

tjtolosa
Jun 9, 2004, 03:54 pm
OMG! Nick's list had me rolling on the floor! :rofl: I'm not real sure what to make of the whole "Identity Crisis" thing...haven't really been into DC for a while now, so I don't have a whole lot invested in it...I'll find out who dies, but that's about it.

X-Ternal
Jun 9, 2004, 04:06 pm
Here is my list......

Powergirl - who cares about her, I don't?

Elongated Man - Do we really need him and Plastic Man?

Alan Scott and Kyle Rainer - Too many GL's on earth.

Jay Garrick. Too many flashes on earth.

Conner Hawke or Arsenal...do we really need two Green Arrow wannabes?

Manitou Raven, Faith, and Major Disaster. All of the new JLAers suck.

Jason Rusch - Firestorm. Ronnie Raymond will always be the best.

Tempest (aqualad) - Yawn...buh bye!

Faith and the Metamorpho clone in Outsiders. Will we really miss either of them? Bring in Rex and through Captain Marvel over to the outsiders. Now that would be cool!

Disbandon the JLA after the tragic deaths - Send Hawkman over to the JLA.

Lois Lane - Want to change the mentality of the the big S, and move him away from his Boy Scoutness. Kill off Lois. Don't bring her back. Lets see Supes lose his cool.

jota
Jun 9, 2004, 04:13 pm
I chosed Nick's list because it literaly made me laugh myself to tears. Superman's death was one of the most hilarious things I've ever read. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiatch!!!!!!! :LOL:
Great stuff, man!

James Groves
Jun 9, 2004, 04:24 pm
Oh man that made me laugh - " X-fan does not condone illegal crap-racing":rofl:

Wow, theres some obvious similarities to the list.

But Batman??????? Hell no man!!!! He aint dyin!!! No way on this earth will he die!! What?? D.Cs biggest chracter with Superman!
He aint dying man. Can u see the ammount of people that would leave D.C for good, theyd go in droves, droves. Thered be uproar!!:aargh: :aargh::{

Please no!! :bawl::no:

Anyway after my mad heart-attack there at the possibility of him being killed, heres my top 5:-

5) MARTIAN MANHUNTER - Hes got possibly the best powers in the entire D.C.U but his personality is cr@p. Thats why he doesnt sell. Hes good in J.L.A but thats it. Unless someone can revive him into something good, hes down as the 5th most wanted kill.

4) ELONGATED/PLASTIC MAN - Quite possibly the worst chracter in the D.C.U that has that "big 7/8" status. All hes there for is comedic value. Plus hes a blatant Mr. Fantastic rip-off. 4th most pleasing suicide.

3) HAWKMAN/KYLE as THE GREEN LANTERN - Man is this guy cr@p. Theres been about 10 million Hawk men already. He has wings. Whenever u watch J.L.A the cartoon in goes Hawkgirl, the girl with the cr@p wings who gets battered. Hawkman and Hawkgirl have mighty weapons, but they never use them. 3rd pair to be shot out of the sky. As for Kyle as the Green Lantern? Theres only ever been one and thats Hal Jordan. Nuff said. Kyles burnt to a green crisp in a fire as my joint 3rd killing.

2) ALL THE CR@P TEEN TITANS/YOUNG JUSTICE SQUAD - Apart from Nightwing all this lot are redundant. Now theyve made robin a girl (man was that a bad decision) hes the only one out of this entire lineup that i'd keep. There all copies, understudys to chracters that will never die. There just irritatingly there, doin bugger all. There powers are just copies of originals - There boring!!! I'd line em all up in a line and have 100 people shoot em down as the 2nd most wanted to be jacked off.

1) AQUAMAN - This guy is cr@p. Worst then cr@p, hes maggots infesting the D.C U. When u think aqua man u think fishin - BORING!! he has virtually no personality, no decent powers, some weird thing going on with his hand and hes a waterbeing. Thats the only point in keepin him. Hes a fisherman, who swims in water. My first to be drowned.

Oh and by the way Penguins gonna be killed off- u heard it here 1st. (or perhaps not).

captainmarveljr
Jun 9, 2004, 05:00 pm
Tut tut tut, how can almost all of you have Aquaman in your lists, have you even read Pfeifers new direction(starting with #15 in case anyone is interested:D ).

Max.

Nick Costanzo
Jun 9, 2004, 05:12 pm
Originally posted by captainmarveljr
Tut tut tut, how can almost all of you have Aquaman in your lists, have you even read Pfeifers new direction(starting with #15 in case anyone is interested:D ).

Max.

No. No matter what you do with Aquaman, no one will ever care. Sorry, but that's the nature of the beast. Aquaman is DC's whipping boy.

James Groves
Jun 9, 2004, 05:19 pm
Originally posted by captainmarveljr
Tut tut tut, how can almost all of you have Aquaman in your lists, have you even read Pfeifers new direction(starting with #15 in case anyone is interested:D ).

Max.

Is that the new directon where Aquaman realises that hes rubbish and in the midst of this enlightenment chokes on a mackeral?

Nick Costanzo
Jun 9, 2004, 05:57 pm
Ok, its time to get my rebuttals out of the way, since everyone else seemed so eager to rip my truly awesome list to shreds (oh sweet envy, you taste so good).

Zach: Wow cool, another guy who doesn't like DC all that much. All the power to you brother. Your list was a lot like mine, only not as awesome or interesting or cool or well written or super-awesome. You did rip into Catwoman though, something I forgot about in my list. Not bad.

Jon: Your knowledge of the DC Universe is truly amazing. Amazing that you could waste so much of your life researching characters only to come up with a list full of people who I don't care about living, and wont care about when they're dead, no matter the reasons. I mean... the bug dude from the Justice League Cartoon. Originality is one thing but what you've got is a borderline complex :p

Zeb: Bastard. Your #10, #9, and #7 picks were identical to mine. I call foul!!!.... nevermind the fact that your list was submitted first :shame: Then again I didn't exactly READ it at the time so I still say I'm the original and you're the copycat :p

Tan: Joel Schumacher is a DCU character? Tsk tsk Tan... we're supposed to take these things seriously. Youl'll notice the upmost level of journalistic integrity, research, and respect for the subject matter I instilled in my fine list. But nooooooo... you had to go and tell your little jokes :clown:

Alex Guillen
Jun 9, 2004, 06:27 pm
I don't think it's going to be Aquman, hey he just got a little cooler this time and he did recently return...

I think the toip 3 choices are:
The Atom
Enlongated Man
Martian Manhunter

but don't kill the new Robin girl (she'll go away eventually and soon) and Thunder (she's great in Outisders) but if you want you can kill off Black lightning?

GambitXtreme
Jun 9, 2004, 06:43 pm
Man, I just read it... ummmmmm, wow. This sucks. I mean, well written, but I didn't care.

Atom sucks, by the way, I agree with the last post.

dizfactor
Jun 9, 2004, 06:53 pm
Aquaman is cool. My mommy said so.

Robb Welch
Jun 9, 2004, 07:05 pm
Why do most of the staffers these days have no taste?

"he looks funny. I hate him"
"his powers are stupid. kill him"

James Groves
Jun 9, 2004, 07:22 pm
Originally posted by Perfect Methods
Why do most of the staffers these days have no taste?

&quot;he looks funny. I hate him&quot;
&quot;his powers are stupid. kill him&quot;

They sound perfectly just and sound reasons to me.
:clown:

Drax
Jun 9, 2004, 07:36 pm
Yeah, I just finished reading it. Probably one of the best comics I've read this year. I honestly didn't think it could live up to the hype. For me, it surpassed it. I mean damn, I almost got teary eyed for a second there.

QBBEADLE
Jun 9, 2004, 07:55 pm
Great lists. Very creative, I especially support the idea of killing of Mxysxtljk...whatever his name is. Unfortunately, I couldn't even vote on this one. I'm too terrified that Kyle Rayner is going to be killed off, either here or in Rebirth, to joke about it. Does anyone who actually reads GL or JLA actually want Hal Jordan back? Has everyone forgotten how stale he had become in the early 90's?? I know retro is the new thing, but some changes are for the better. Kyle Rayner as GL was the first non X title I ever got into, primarily because it had the feel that anything could happen because Kyle wasn't an established character, unlike most comics at the time. Anyway, I'm rambling here. I'm picking up my comics in about an hour and Identity Crisis will be at the top of my stack. And my money's on Sue Dibny.

First post ever by the way :D

Logan Longshot LeBeau
Jun 9, 2004, 09:45 pm
I voted for Nick's list. His insults of some of the most famous DCU characters were hysterical, but da whole Lex Luthor doin' a drive-by AND runnin' over Krypto, put Nick over da top! (2 words: Luthor, Biatch!!!!) VERY CLOSE second goes to Tan K. for the Joel Schumacher entry ALONE!!! lol !!!

Al Harahap
Jun 9, 2004, 09:50 pm
Fee-fie-fo-fum, I smell the blood of a Marvelite. :evil: I also smell an anti-DCU-er, but at least he's also anti-MU, which cancels out each other. (Love'em/Hate'em both equally, kids!)

I voted for Jon or Zeb. Damn single-choice polls... You'll just have to be kept in suspense as to which one, as I liked both almost equally. The others, as much as I like these three guys personally, were just unabashedly uninformed and/or tried to hide it by being too funny without any hint of taking the list seriously.

It's a good thing nobody touched my lovely Oracle, or there would be a reckoning. Nonetheless, time to taste the might of DC's righteous anger. :]

Originally posted by Zachary Palisoc
#10: The Elongated Man
What is this? You mean to tell me there's a rip-off of Reed Richards in the DC universe, only minus the intelligence and the coolness factor? Off with his head and the rest of his stretchy parts!

If anyone has to be a ripoff, NEWSFLASH: Both Reed and Ralph are ripoffs of DC's Plastic Man, who came out decades before the both of them. ;)

#4 &amp; #3: (tie) Tim Drake Robin and Dick Grayson (Nightwing)
Because all proteges of Batman should die. (Editor's Note: ComiX-Fan does not condone violence against minors, unless they liked the Batman &amp; Robin movie, in which case we encourage it) Jason Todd should have been the last and the only Robin. You think Bruce would learn his lesson after that little ugly incident, but nooo, he just keeps on spawning Robins. And now the latest one is a girl! Oy, will he never learn? At any rate, Dick is way cooler than Tim Drake, but still, they have no business doing men's work. I say let the Birds of Prey take over!

No, no, no. Just no. One thing I don't think people realise is that Batman's proteges are what give his mythos any semblance to three-dimensionality. Imagine it without them, Batman himself develops very little, and the repetitive stories surrounding his parents' death are just getting old. Batman should die, yes, I agree with you on that. But not his proteges. The rare death of proteges like of Jason Todd's was good story and development, but not en masse like you suggest, leaving nothing left at all. Without them, Batman would become a mere caricature like Mickey Mouse or Bugs Bunny, which he essentially is, but at least with the ongoing developing characters of his proteges, it gives the illusion that he isn't.

Originally posted by Jon Hancock
#4: You Let WHO Join? (Power Girl's Cat)
Yes, Power Girl's cat. It should die for three reasons: #1. It's a cat and thus inherently evil. #2. It makes G'nort and Scarlet Skiier look like credible JLA members. #3. We might get to see Power Girl more out of respect for her dead kitty. Maybe in a slinky black number.

Damn you, Jon. That cat is the best thing the DCU has going for it right now. :p

#1: Splitting the Atom Atom Smasher
Atom Smasher gets my number one pick. Not a big name, not a popular character, and not an expected pick. However, I can see Al being one of the most likely casualties in Identity Crisis. I think Johns has gone as far as he can with the guy. Lets see.... He's had a stint with the JLA and JSA, he's had storylines about his sexuality, he's lost or nearly lost just about every family member or person that's been close to him, and has fought against the government. He's murdered the man who killed his idol. Most recently he was corrupted into fighting for evil and helped to cause the deaths of two other misled heroes. His relationships with Nemesis and Stargirl have been nicely finished off. Al has very few things to live for now and has always been the sort to sacrifice himself. Now's the time to take one for the team. Plus that old red Mohawk needs punishing.

An excellent choice. Al is DC's Colossus -- in more ways than one. Similarly, I see that his death would have great story potential and other characters' development as such. Off with his head.

Originally posted by Zeb Aslam
#10: The Incredible Shrinking Man Atom
Simple reason...I don't like Ray Palmer (The Atom). No, I mean I REALLY don't like Ray Palmer. He's the ultimate deus ex machina device...and I hate those!!! Whenever the Justice League's in trouble and there's nary a solution in sight, who comes along? Why, it's Ray Palmer...the person with the incredible power to shrink! (May as well call him Doll-Man...) And he manages to outwit not only Batman, but also Steel, and all the rest because he's just so damned smart! Not to mention the fact that I hated the storyline which regressed him to a teenager, but anyway...off with his head!

I am ambivalent towards this one. On the one hand, Ray is to DCU science/tech, what Oracle is to DCU information. He's a very flexible character who can show up in any book and fit in perfectly as a (good) plot device that contributes science aspects to any choice story. On the other hand, ok, he's kind of getting old now. I'd agree with offing Ray, if only DC would elevate John Henry Irons a.k.a. the retired Steel (but we'll get to that rant in Tan's section) into taking over the role.

#8: Where There's Thunder, There's Lightning! (Thunder)
This one's so obvious, I can't believe no one else thought of it. We all love Black Lightning, right? We all want to see him return to the spotlight like he has been doing recently in Outsiders, right? Well, I say kill off his daughter (that's Thunder, for those of you who don't know) and give him the motivation to become a full-time hero again. Let's face it, it would be incredibly easy to manage; Outsiders has an Identity Crisis tie-in, and we all know that nothing spells death like a tie-in. Kill her, I say...bring the glory of the Lightning back!!

#1: The New Shall Always Make Way For The Old (The New Green Arrow)
Again, frightfully simple to see. Ever since Oliver Queen was brought back from the dead, we've essentially had two Green Arrows. While this was nice to see for a while, along the lines of a Bat-family...it just doesn't work in the Green Arrow part of the DC-Verse. Brad Meltzer, having written Green Arrow, understands the characters of the Green Arrow-family best... so who better to kill off then one of them? It can't be Ollie... he just came back, and it took him long enough the first time. It can't be Arsenal... he's in Outsiders, and he's in solicitations that go far beyond the Identity Crisis tie-in of that series. So, who does that leave? Why, Green Arrow Jr., Conner, of course! In fact, he is the only member of the GA-family whom we have not seen any talk about in quite some time... to throw off suspicion perhaps? I don't think I need to say anymore. He will die, I tell you... he will die!!!

No... just no. One of the few upper hands the DCU has over other realities is that it has a large and successful second generation cast. Nightwing, Tempest, Jade, Obsidian, Jack Knight, and so many more allow for an overall development in the DCU's ongoing story and a strong sense of history. Even the MU can't boast that same achievement, let alone other smaller and newer realities. If anyone should die, it's the daddies, not the kiddies.

Originally posted by Nick Costanzo
Wait, you mean someone's dying? Well, not that I think it'll last for more than about a half issue, but I could be more than obliged to offer a few suggestions as to who should go...

Wow, and I thought I was cynical towards mainstream comics. :p And, sure, I am at Identity Crisis' hype too, but I'm pretty sure that with all the hoopla, DC's going to deliver, else fan backlash would backfire on them.

#8: Hawkman
What do you get when you mix He-Man with Archangel? Hawkman. I want this loser dead based on looks alone. I mean his mask has a freakin' beak on it. A BEAK! Totally unacceptable. Clip his wings, mid-flight, and watch him plummet to a messy splatty death. You'll be doing him, and by him, I mean me, a favor.

You're just jealous because you don't have his perfect quaffs of chest hair. :hawkman:

#6: That New Robin Chick, Whatshername.
I don't think it matters. All I know is that the female Robin I've seen on the covers of several upcoming DC Comics in the previews looks ugly as hell, especially with the weird pompom hair thing she's got going for her. Maybe her gruesome death will finally make Batman start questioning the whole “Robin” concept after all.

Again, for the reasons stated to Zach regarding Batman's need for a developing cast of proteges. But especially this one, as the first evolved into his own hero, the second died, it seems natural that one original way to progress the third one would be to retire him and hand over the mantle to someone close to him. A girl to boot! Let's keep Steph.

Originally posted by Tan K.
#7: New Gods Fodder (Orion &amp; Big Barda)
Jack Kirby created an incredible world in the New Gods, but these two get on my nerves. Thor and Wonder Woman with no personality. Maybe they'll get Mother Boxed into the Source.

I think it's Thor and Wonder Woman who should die, because they've outlived their usefulness. It's Orion and Big Barda who are relatively untapped and have the better potential for good stories.

#6: Yawwwwwwn Steel
Boooooring....smelt, anyone?

Umm... while I agree that he was a boring hero and should've stayed dead after Our Worlds at War, he's actually retired, passed on the name and mantle to his more interesting daughter, while himself becoming a much more interesting character. So... this choice is kind of outdated and moot...

#4: I'm Rubber, You're Rubber... Hell, Forget It Plastic Man
I know Joe Kelly tried to spiff the guy up, but he is annoying as hell. To be honest, I didn't mind him until that whole Trial by Fire story in JLA. He's comic relief. He can stretch his nose into any crevice. That's his purpose in comicdom. Why the need to make him any more?

Actually both Grant Morrison and Mark Waid did too, even before Joe Kelly, and I think all three have done a wonderful job of making the character more three-dimensional than his Golden Age days. In fact, it's because of this particular power that I just can't take Mr. Fantastic or Elongated Man seriously (though the latter does strive for a nice balance between serious and slapstick at times). Plastic Man will always be the original and the best, baby. :cool:

KenB3
Jun 9, 2004, 10:48 pm
"Luthor, Biaaatch!" is the funniest damn thing I've read. Seriously, Superman is a boring character. I gave DC's revamped Superman a shot, and even Azarello and Lee can't make Superman interesting. He's too perfect, flawless, and powerful to ever be interesting, and he's so "iconic" that no one will ever be allowed to significantly change him.

Same deal with Wonderwoman, surprised she didn't make any of the lists. She's even worse because she has to be this perfect feminist role model and has this ludicrous background of being from Lesbian Island or whatever they're calling it now.

Anyway, Identity Crisis 1 had a really good story, but they hyped up a big death only to kill a third string character, so that was sort of a let down. If they hadn't hyped it that way I would have enjoyed it more.

Drax
Jun 9, 2004, 11:32 pm
Originally posted by KenB3

Anyway, Identity Crisis 1 had a really good story, but they hyped up a big death only to kill a third string character, so that was sort of a let down. If they hadn't hyped it that way I would have enjoyed it more.

To be honest, the Internet community is more responsible for the hype around the death than DC.

I just find it funny that people are dissapointed that Meltzer chose to tell an engaging story rather than kill off a major player as a cheap plot device.

Merlin
Jun 10, 2004, 12:21 am
I still am not interested at all in Identity Crisis especially once I found out who died, and I was like what how the hell is that? IF DC wanted to attrack new readers with Identity Crisis they should have killed a character that a non-DC fanatic or first time JLA reader would know about, look at Zachary Palisoc's list every comic fan knows those characters
this death seems like such a cop out
whatever - I've never been much of a DC fan anyway.
I voted for the person who listed the person who died on there list

Jordan T. Maxwell
Jun 10, 2004, 12:29 am
i voted for Zeb for...well, what should be obvious reasons by now.

I'm not a huge DC fan by any means, but i do enjoy some of their characters and care enough about them when a creator i think is worthwhile helms their adventures. I just rarely pick up any of the monthly books...these characters are so iconic, i need the big epic "event" stories to keep my interest with them. And so far, this is living up to it all. I don't know much about a lot of the characters featured here, and it's to Meltzer's credit that i gave a damn. I was nearly tearing up at a couple of points and had to think to myself "why are you crying? you have no idea who the hell these people are." That's powerful storytelling right there. Looking forward to the rest.

(and i'm posting this here because there's no review thread up yet and i just got done reading it, so had to share my thoughts)

Alphabet Pet
Jun 10, 2004, 12:29 am
Tan gets my vote for no other reason than the Rodimus-Kyle comparison. Honourable mention to Nick for the image of Lex in a Kryptonite Pimpmobile now seared into my mind.

Mitch Brown
Jun 10, 2004, 12:34 am
Chalk one vote up for Zebster (know something we didn't..hmmmmm?)

Somebody
Jun 10, 2004, 01:06 am
5. Indigo [Outsiders]

For Crapuation Day

4. Aquaman.

[The Cat]Orange & green, are you crazy? I'm going to eat you little fishy....[/The Cat]

3. Hal Jordan.

Scene I'd love to see, post-Rebirth GL 1, first page, Boredan being shot through the heart with a yellow bullet. I can imagine the screams right now :evilgrin:

Plus I plain don't like him.

2. Kid Flash

Because I'd rather see Impulse dead than allow Johns to trash him any more.

1. Krypto.

KILL HIM. MASH HIM INTO KRYPTONITE PASTE!!!!

Hancock was wrong. Cats aren't evil, it's those damn dogs.

Plus superpets = eugh...
__________________________________________________________________________________

As for the vote, Costanzo gets it for remembering to include Krypto.

Jim Lemoine
Jun 10, 2004, 01:25 am
Originally posted by Drax

I just find it funny that people are dissapointed that Meltzer chose to tell an engaging story rather than kill off a major player as a cheap plot device.

Here, here.

I'm not a huge DC fan by any means, but I thought the first issue of Identity Crisis was fantastic.

And I voted for Zeb's list, for just being so... right.

DanielSummers
Jun 10, 2004, 03:32 am
I thought the death in IC #1 was well worth the months of speculation, and well done by Meltzer. I was going to vote for Tan, untill I saw the number one. Firstly, I like Kyle, and secondly, there was no need to drag Rodimus into this, he never hurt anyone. That was an uncalled for shot.:tfopt: is vastly superior, in all ways to :hal:

DKBatman
Jun 10, 2004, 03:38 am
10)Elongated Man
9)The entire JSA
8)The spoiler
7)Huntress
6)Superboy
5)Oliver Queen (Conner was better, even if no one agrees)
4)Hawkman (long live Zaurel)
3)Batman/Bruce Wayne (give Dick Grayson a turn)
2)Lex Luthor (what am I? evil scientist? Billionaire? armor wearing idiot?)
1)Hal Jordan (isn't he dead already? Anyway, Kyle will always be my GL)

yeah, well, why don't we just kill no one cause they'll all be back in a year or so anyway.

Jared Oberholtzer
Jun 10, 2004, 03:45 am
Originally posted by Jordan T. Maxwell
I was nearly tearing up at a couple of points and had to think to myself &quot;why are you crying? you have no idea who the hell these people are.&quot; That's powerful storytelling right there. Looking forward to the rest.
ROFL. That's exactly how I was. I had no clue who the person who died was, yet I was all teary eyed.

And I voted for Zeb because...yeah. That list just rocks.

Russian Mobster
Jun 10, 2004, 05:05 am
Wow, I'm actaully really disappointed in these lists. Usually you guys manage to come up with very insightful and varied opinions on the topic, but this is simply a list of what DC characters you like least. I don't think that except fot 3 or 4 entries you guys took this really seriosly. Does anyone really expect Batrman or Superman to die? Or anyone who belongs to a non-JLA book, such as Thunder, Kid Flash or Superboy?

Jon Hancock
Jun 10, 2004, 10:26 am
I knew I'd pay the price for picking characters whose deaths would actually mean something rather than big flashy names or comedy.

I would like to point out though that anyone unfamiliar with the characters mentioned should be able to find bios for the characters on Comix-Fan's site. any name in black can be clicked on to reveal the respective bio.

f4faith
Jun 10, 2004, 01:03 pm
Well I had to vote for Zach just because he was the only one to put Batman on his list. An over-used, over-rated, and even more obnoxious character than Wolverine. It certainly would shake up the DC universe and JLA to loose their ever convenient know it all savior.

That and I didn't vote for any ones with the standard girls in refrigerators ie "let's kill the girlfriend" because that always make the hero more interesting. :rolleyes:

That's why I'd never date a superhero. He'd only be interesting after I'm dead or he's broken up with me. :D

Nick Costanzo
Jun 10, 2004, 01:47 pm
Well faith, maybe you should be honored that you'd have such a lasting effect on the man ^_^

I gotta say I'm disappointed by so many ComiX-Fans here taking the high road and voting for Zeb? Where's the tasteless DC hate, people?

Jon Hancock
Jun 10, 2004, 02:09 pm
Rebuttal time

Zach: Y'know usually it's Jordan's list that sends me to sleep because it's so long and dull. Then you come along with a short snappy one that STILL sends me to sleep. I mean come on! Have you ever read a DC title outside of the JLA?

Zeb: A truly uninspired first 7 featuring the obvious and the make no sense picks. Then your top three has someone whose death would mean jack and yet she could be used in a whole heap of ways with J'onn, someone who has died countless times already and someone who makes up one of the most fascinating chalk and cheese partnerships in comics. Shocking...

Nick: Look. I know you're used to using humour to disguise your *ahem* shortcomings but this time it doesn't cut it. Shame on you and shame on your zombie legions for voting for you.

Tan: You had me voting for you all the way through your lsit until the number 1 pick. A bit of comedy is ok. Steel is pretty uninspired true (although as has been pointed out, he's died and changed. and where was the Shaq Fu reference?) But then you go and blow it all by saying we should off the three interesting Green Lanterns in favour of mr square jaw himself. Hal is dead and should stay that way. He's run his course. No more stories left for that man. Nobody should ever contemplate killing Guy Gardner. F+

Zachary Palisoc
Jun 10, 2004, 04:42 pm
Hmm, I see I'm getting thrashed as usual. In my defense, though, I only had a basic knowledge of the D.C. universe. I still maintain, though, that all things relating directly to Batman must be wiped out. ;)

Ah, well. It was still fun to do. :)

-Z

James Groves
Jun 10, 2004, 05:29 pm
Originally posted by Zachary Palisoc
Hmm, I see I'm getting thrashed as usual. In my defense, though, I only had a basic knowledge of the D.C. universe. I still maintain, though, that all things relating directly to Batman must be wiped out. ;)

Ah, well. It was still fun to do. :)

-Z

Blasphemy!


:clown:

Jennifer de Vries
Jun 10, 2004, 05:49 pm
Zachary, Jonberg, Nick: Superman? He's the first superhero, you can't just go and kill him. Especially not because this is the ONE death in comics that will never, ever last.

Jonberg and Nick? Killing animals? Uh huh. You need a kick between the legs, you heartless meanies. I mean, how can you just so coldly state that a poor widdle animal needs to die? :no:

I went with Zeb's, as his list didn't actually have anyone I cared too much for on it. Tan had Kid Flash, and I really, really like Bart.

Douglas Cuckler
Jun 10, 2004, 06:49 pm
Originally posted by Al Harahap


I think it's Thor and Wonder Woman who should die, because they've outlived their usefulness.

Not Diana Al. :( . You make me weapy eyed with your judgements. :D

Nick Costanzo
Jun 10, 2004, 07:09 pm
Originally posted by Jennifer de Vries
Zachary, Jonberg, Nick: Superman? He's the first superhero, you can't just go and kill him. Especially not because this is the ONE death in comics that will never, ever last.

Jonberg and Nick? Killing animals? Uh huh. You need a kick between the legs, you heartless meanies. I mean, how can you just so coldly state that a poor widdle animal needs to die? :no:

I went with Zeb's, as his list didn't actually have anyone I cared too much for on it. Tan had Kid Flash, and I really, really like Bart.

Well to be fair, my first idea was to house Krypto in a kryptonite fensed yard so that it could be kept but wouldn't destroy the neighborhood with its super-dog powers. But then I realized that such an enclosure would probably poison the poor dog to death over a long and incredibly painful period of time.

So if you look at it in that light... I was being pretty humane.

Jordan T. Maxwell
Jun 10, 2004, 08:45 pm
Originally posted by Jonberg
Rebuttal time

Zach: Y'know usually it's Jordan's list that sends me to sleep because it's so long and dull. Then you come along with a short snappy one that STILL sends me to sleep. I mean come on! Have you ever read a DC title outside of the JLA?


great...i don't even participate in any way, shape or form this time and i still get slammed. you guys suck. :{

or maybe you're just a little bitter over getting your asses kicked the last few times i've played with ya. :p

Mitch Brown
Jun 11, 2004, 02:34 am
Hey, there's no such thing as bad publicity dude.


man..reading through these and other forum posts I'm feeling real sorry for the Martian Manhunter...J'onn rocks damnit!

Zeb Aslam
Jun 11, 2004, 02:57 am
Rebuttals:

Zach: Oh, c'mon man! Robin???! The best Bat-character this side of Oracle? Sure...Oracle rules all, but Robin is a close second. Then we come to the rest of the list...blah! It's all fairly generic and uninspiring! Next time I want a bigger challenge...

Jonberg: Come on man...I thought you were a DCU fan? But you chose some of the most easy to kill off people on your list! I'll give you props for CM3...but everyone else...what were you on? And where can I get some ;) Make no sense?? Who's right big guy...huh? who's right??? And killing a helpless cat...shame, I'm reporting you to the SPCA.

Nick: Bah! You're just sore because your knowledge of the DCU is so limited that you couldn't come up with anything besides the obvious picks that all non-DCU readers know about. And I say you're the copycat! I registered my list long before you were anywhere near it!! And here's another person to be reported to the SPCA...

Tan: Joel Schumacher??!? What the hell? Sure, he must and should be put on trial for the tarvesty that was Batman and Robin, but to kill him in cold blood...yeesh, you scare me. Not to mention you're killing of M'Onel? One of the most underrated Legion of Super-heroes characters ever!!! I'm with you on Mr. Myxzptlk, but otherwise I can't believe that you actually presented this seriously!

And on that note, I would like to remind people...I was right!! Nyah, Nyah, Nyah, Nyah! I'm the only one who has the actual death on his death. I'm king of the world!!! (Well, ok, the king of the DCU geek pile...but hey, it's good to be king somewhere, right?)

Jon Hancock
Jun 11, 2004, 01:14 pm
Erm... Jen. I didn't kill superman. I killed Clark Kent. Big Difference :D

Roberto Polanco
Jun 12, 2004, 03:06 pm
damn you Zeb, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!:mad:

:( :(

Jon Hancock
Jun 13, 2004, 11:19 am
Zeb... You were taking this that seriously? Jeez if it was a contest I'd have had the true death plus all your other safe picks. Good to see you stepped outside of the comfort zone and went with originality. I mean I couldn't have read most of your picks from any other person online who knew about the DCU ;)

Robb Welch
Jun 14, 2004, 07:14 am
I'm just wondering if any of these guys have ever even read a comic with aquaman in it, much less a peter david aqua man issue? i mean seriously. You guys came off as ignorant to me there.



who decided to let a bunch of people who know jack **** about the DCU write a list about it?

Nick Costanzo
Jun 14, 2004, 05:02 pm
I'll assume that the word in the ****'s is "asses", as opposed to another word that fits perfectly, and would be more than a little inappropriate.

I wrote my list in good fun, telling Jim in advance that I am highly ignorant of DC continuity and I don't really plan on ever getting into it. It was a joke, so chill. Well, not totally a joke. I really do want all that pimp Luthor stuff to happen, even if it is a gag comic :D

Jon Hancock
Jun 15, 2004, 04:38 am
I know lots on DCU but have never found Aquaman interesting except when Busiek wrote him in JLA:Year One.

Even the mighty EVS tried to sway me with the potential of the character but I can't see it. He is an ok character except for the fact he has no place with the Big 7. I think if he were thought of as an Atom or Metamorpho type character I'd like him a lot more than the iconic status he currently enjoys.

To be blunt, if the guy was an interesting character he wouldn't have 4 (or is it 5 now?) cancelled series.

Atlantis is dull, talking to fish is dull, being king is dull, aquaman is dull.

Shiva
Jul 5, 2004, 06:46 pm
Nick Wins...number 6 was freakin hilarious!

Robb Welch
Aug 21, 2004, 03:25 am
To be blunt, if the guy was an interesting character he wouldn't have 4 (or is it 5 now?) cancelled series.

Atlantis is dull, talking to fish is dull, being king is dull, aquaman is dull.

4 or 5 cancled series? hell even if that number were true, Captain America has more than that....

talking to fish may be dull, but causing a telepathic sezure and telling orion to **** off is awesome.