CANDY APPLE BLACK #1 REVIEW

[Joel Phillips]

<a href="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/previews/ind/candyappleblack1.jpeg" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/previews/ind/candyappleblack1t.jpg" align=left alt="Candy Apple Black #1"></a>Reviewer: Joel Phillips
Quick Rating: Terrible!
Story Title: Book One of Seven: Fire and Rain

I have no freaking clue what’s going on.

Creator/Writer/Publisher: Regent St. Claire
Co-publisher: Heidi Schmid
Covers By: Marc Sasso
Pencils By: Djezer
Inks By: Eric Theriault
Graphics/Letters By: JAYMES
Published By: GIPC

I sit here without any idea of how to review this issue. I could summarize it, but that would require me to understand what was going on. I could compare it to something similar, but there isn’t anything that leaps to mind. I could compare it to other work by these creators, or GIPC, but I’ve never heard of any of these creators, or GIPC, before this.

Let me try the summary thing, since that’s usually the best way to start. You see there’s this guy, and he’s an angel. Or a former angel. Or not… see the solicitations I read online said a lot of stuff about angels. The issue itself makes only casual reference to the heavens, except for this one bit on the inside of the front cover, which I don’t think has anything to do with anything else in the issue.

So there’s this angel/former angel/might be an angel type guy. Even without the angelic stuff I read beforehand you can tell he’s special, because he dresses in the latest of gothic sheik, says trite pseudo-inspirational nonsense to a baby in an alley, and looks like a chick. Clearly a chosen one in the kingdom of heaven… unless he’s not, in which case never mind.

So then there’s a fire in a high-rise building. It was apparently set by some guy who likes to set fires, and who spent a long time in jail for setting a fire in some building when he was little and killing some people. Our Goth buddy walks right past the police and camera crews, ducks the caution tape, and walks inside. How does he get past them you ask? Well, because he’s special. And because everyone is looking away slightly when he walks up, probably thanks to some heavenly magic mojo… or something.

Inside the building with the fire is the firebug and some kids he’s keeping hostage. Goth-Man (I’ll call him that since I can’t remember his name or even if he was named at all) walks in on them. The guy doesn’t want to hurt the kids, he just wants the police and press around for some reason. He wants to die, but he seems like he’s going to kill himself rather than commit suicide by cop, which makes one wonder why the police or the press or the children or Goth-Man needs to be here at all. I’m starting to wonder if WE need to be here either.

While the firebug sits there mired in self pity, Goth-Man gestures for the kids to leave and they do. The firebug doesn’t notice because he’s looking off to the side slightly. Then he and Goth-Man have a chat. Seems the firebug likes to start fires, but he didn’t start the one when he was little that killed those people: Goth-Man has been sent by God because this firebug paid a debt he didn’t owe… or something. So Goth-Man gives the firebug a big black candy apple (you were wondering about that title, weren’t you?). The building explodes, the children are mysteriously on the street and comment that an angel came an saved them (ah, I knew it was in there somewhere!), and Goth-Man walks right back out through the front doors while everyone looks off to the side slightly. The women with the camera finally manages to get a picture of Goth-Man, and Goth-Man slips some papers into the pocket of a newswoman, which proves the firebug was innocent of the crime he was convicted of… like that matters after he kidnapped a bunch of kids and torched a high-rise, but whatever. I just like how seriously a professional reporter takes papers she finds IN HER OWN POCKET.

(Wait, woman with a camera? There’s a woman with a camera who popped up earlier and now seems very excited about snapping a picture of Goth-Man. I don’t know why, because all I’ve been doing is looking at Goth-Man and he ain’t that interesting.)

Much of the above happens in between a series of disjointed panels that make the rest of the issue make total sense by comparison… and that’s sad. These include numerous shots of Goth-Man walking away and bleeding for some reason, the apple on the floor with a bite in it, a bloody hand obviously meant to depict a body laying just off panel, and a pained looking girl we’ve never seen before but who is obviously very important… but it’s not the newswoman or the girl with the camera… unless it is… but it’s probably not.

Basically if there was any hope of this story coming together to make any sense whatsoever, the art ruins it by making no sense. If you want to understand the narrative flow of this issue, imagine taking a detailed series of pictures of yourself on vacation. You put these pictures in chronological order, making a perfect slideshow of your trip. Then you entrust this masterpiece to a friend of yours… who is blind. This friend drops your slides on the street, most of them fall in the sewer, and those he is able to recover he orders randomly in a poor attempt at hiding his accident from you. The narrative shown by those pictures would be roughly as clear as the art in the latter half of this issue.

I have never, EVER seen a comic that is so badly trying to seem deep and failing miserably. This is meant to be an opening chapter, and it’s clear the creators intentionally kept some mystery in it, but it fails so thoroughly to make any kind of sense that I can’t imagine the masochist fool who would shell out another $3.50 to find out what happens next. This isn’t a successful chapter, it isn’t a successful story, it isn’t a successful series of pretty pictures. It’s a mess.

The art gets a half because, though the quality of the drawing is decent, the skill of utilizing images in a sequence to tell a story is barely even attempted here. The story gets a half because I imagine there is a story here somewhere, even if its creators have aborted it with their poor attempts at giving it life.

Don’t buy this. When the next issue comes out, don’t buy it either. If you walk by and see the cool looking covers and want to give it a look, jam a pencil in your eyeball and wiggle it around until the impulse goes away. Repeat as necessary with subsequent issues.

ART:
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STORY:
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OVERALL:
http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/reviews/ulxhalf.jpg http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/reviews/ulxnone.jpg http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/reviews/ulxnone.jpg http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/reviews/ulxnone.jpg http://www.comixfan.com/xfan/images/reviews/ulxnone.jpg

[Alex Groff]

Don't hold back Joel, tell us how you really feel....

I found a website looking for that cover, and to be honest, the site was a bit... off-kilter.

Still, it's inspiring the amount of frustration you can well up writing a review. Inspiring.

[Anand Khatri]

I actually thought of picking this up cuz it looked cool. Good thing I didn't. I'm low on funds anyway.

[Marcina Riley]

Forgive me for being naive. I didn't think a book could possibly get that low. I think this book is a case of someone taking goth a little too far...

[James Groves]

Wow, thatsthe worst review ive ever seen for a comic on this site!!! Is this the lowest mark ever?

I will so be not picking this up.

[Colonel Cortez]

Is it possible to give a book 0 out of 10?

[Jack O'Lantern]

"he dresses in the latest of gothic sheik". I think you mean chic. Sorry, just being anal.

[Ken Boehm]

But its an idependent book! We should all be praising how great and almighty those independent books are, because they're independent! You just aren't the sophisticated type, Joel. ;) :p

[Anthony Lucynski]

Wonder what Scott Kurtz would think of this book....

Anthony L

[Dylan McKay]

Well, having read the stuff on the website before hand, most of it made sense to me. But, the fact of the matter is, it really shouldn't be that way.

the art did suck ass though. Some of the worst I've ever seen. But the story itself still was significantly better than the Draco.

After reading the intro, by far the most interesting part, I knew, I must listen to Stabbing Westward while reading this, so that may have helped.

Couldn't help but notice the lack of an editor.

Not that bad, but not worth recommending. Marc Sasso, the cover artist, should move onto bigger and better things, but no one else involved will until they tighten up their story telling.

[Mitch Brown]

I bought this as well and I'm certainly not going back for #2...

I think there's some potential in the premise but the execution is just all wrong.

[Ann Nichols]

Originally posted by Jack O'Lantern
&quot;he dresses in the latest of gothic sheik&quot;. I think you mean chic. Sorry, just being anal.

But you forgot to complain that he used "laying" when he should have used "lying". ;)


Originally posted by Nalyd Psycho
the art did suck ass though. Some of the worst I've ever seen. But the story itself still was significantly better than the Draco.


:LOL:

I think I'll skip this title, thanks.

[Dylan McKay]

I am thinking this book is primed for the Grant Morrison technique of whiting out all the words and creating a better story.

[harlequin]

It could just be me, but this seams to be more of a "I HATE Goths!" post than an actual review of the comic. While I was a little bit disappointed with the peniciller Regent chose (stick around for issue 4 people, trust me here, it gets a whole lot better) I can understand his reasoning. Basically, out of the few submissions he received Djeezer was the only one whose style was vaugly individual rather than yet another Witchblade clone, and Regent wanted something that would stand out. I'm not in love with the art, but I support his reasons. As for having trouble following the story... ummm... I think I remember a no flaming rule in the TOS so I'd better leave that one waaaaay alone for now. Besides, who said this issue was supposed to explain everything? If it did, there would be no need for the other six issues, however should you need everything spelled out to you please email me and I will do whatever I can to help clarify the "confusing" plot.

For all of you who this review has dissuaded from buying the comic I say this : don't be persuaded by this one embittered point of view, go into the store and read through it yourself if you don't want to buy it, and then decide. At the very least check out what other people have said about it, I think you may be surprised. Thank you.

[Dylan McKay]

The problem is that it needs to explain enough to pull you in. All mystery, no substance isn't worth paying for.

[AurorasAbsolution]

Saying that the first issue of a seven part comic isn't worth reading if it doesn't explain a significant amount of plot in it, is tantamount to saying that a book isn't worth reading if the first few chapters don't explain everything. Some of my favorite books (Les Miserables, Dracula, Frankenstein) start out horribly slow, and Dracula is written in a series of disjointed letters, but that doesn't detract from the overall book. If you know the concept of the comic book (www.candyappleblack.com) it should be enough explanation to make you want to read it.

Angels are sexless and are suppossed to have feminine and masculine features. And since when is a black coat and fishnets the 'latest gothic chic'???? That outfit is not meant to make you suddenly think 'oh my goth! Where did he get that shirt!?'....maybe reading the story is a little more important....? When I read a Batman comic I don't think to myself 'wow...is Batman wearing pvc, or spandex underwear on the outside of his costume? Why is he wearing underwear on the outside of his clothes anyways?' Come on.

A comic shouldn't be praised simply because it's independent, but then I don't think that it's fair to point out how easily the Angel gets into and out of situations when Superman does the same damn thing.

The artwork was similar to James O Barr's earlier books. Simplistic, and again, with more emphasis on the storyline than the 'pretty pictures'. Having a simpler background gives you more room to fill things in with your mind, and the space serves as an intensifier for what is already there. Less is more sometimes.

Stabbing Westward???? Try Lou Reed. By the way, when was the last time anyone on here went out to their local goth club, or bought some real goth music? I don't understand where all this 'taking goth too far' and 'goth-man' stuff is coming from. Since when does something have to instantly be classified as 'goth' if it's dark. Maybe you initially picked this book up to be dark and spooky? Maybe that's why you're dissapointed? Please elaborate.

[Dylan McKay]

Comic books are not a book. If a comic cannot hold a readers interest with every issue, then a graphic novel format is much more appropriate.

[Ryan Day]

Originally posted by AurorasAbsolution
Saying that the first issue of a seven part comic isn't worth reading if it doesn't explain a significant amount of plot in it, is tantamount to saying that a book isn't worth reading if the first few chapters don't explain everything.

If I were to buy the first chapter of a book independently, then I'd agree. But books generally come as one piece, so it's not really an apt comparison.

Obviously, the first issue of a series shouldn't give everything away. But it also needs to stand on its own to a certain extent; there's a fine line between being mysterious and confusing, and Joel clearly felt this issue fell into the latter category.

Look, Joel's a very open-minded guy. Look up some of his other reviews and you'll find a wide variety of books, some of which he liked and some of which he didn't. He didn't like this one, and he did a pretty good job of explaining why.

[Joel Phillips]

I wasn't planning to respond since I usually don't, but I would like to clarify two points:

1) I have nothing against goth anything. I went into this book aware of the concept behind the book, having read a solicitation that a friend emailed to me. I've never been to the website, I read all the information second hand. Anyway, I had no idea what to expect stylistically, so I wasn't let down because it wasn't what I expected. I was let down because it was bad. If you disagree with that assessment that's fine with me, but it's got nothing to do with me having anything against goth people, goth music, goth clothes, etc.

As for why I make all the goth jokes, well, I make jokes in my reviews, particularly the reviews of things I thought were bad. I make fun of whatever stands out that I feel I can reasonably make fun of. Truth be told the word "goth" never popped into my head as I was reading the issue, it just came out as I wrote the review.

2) No, a comic doesn't need to explain everything in issue one. But if I don't know ANYTHING about the continuing plot of the series, why should I read six more issues to find out? Particularly in a case such as this, where the execution of the first issue is just as shoddy as the concept is absent?

Not everyone who reads comic books goes online first, reads solicitations, reads creator interviews, knows what a series is about before they pick it up. Half the comic buyers I know don't go online at all, they just get what looks interesting in the store. So had these people picked up a copy of this issue, without having read anything of what the series was meant to be about, would they have any idea what was happening? I doubt it. And would they want to continue reading? I doubt that even more.

And that's how it should be. If I HAVE to read information in advance to understand the plot, then the comic is flawed. Period. And if I have to read information in advance to be sufficiently interested to pick up issue two, then the comic is seriously flawed, because you're not going to convince readers to stick with a series if they need information beyond what's between the covers.

To me this was a case of someone putting out a comic for people who already knew it existed, who were already interested, and who were already informed. If you are one of those people who already know everything about the series before it comes out, this might not seem like a bad issue. If you're anyone else, I can't see this as anything but a waste of time and money, because the issue hasn't provided enough ON ITS OWN to spark interest and make you care.