OUR SO-CALLED COLUMN #2.5: BREAKING NEWS ON THE LARROCA SCANDAL!

[Anthony Zisa]

<a href="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/logos/oscc_logo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/logos/oscc_logot.jpg" alt="Our So Called Column logo" align=left></a>From CNN.com:

Bush urges Marvel to reconsider Larroca transfer.

Cites national security as primary motivation.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush today issued a press release denouncing Marvel Comics' decision to move artist Salvador Larroca from X-Treme X-Men to Namor, the flagship book of its fledging girl-friendly Tsunami line (see 'NAMOR TO GET 'X-TREME' ARTIST?' (http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16192)).

A transcript of the release follows:

<a href="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/previews/0403/NAMOR_1_w_logo.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/previews/0403/NAMOR_1_w_logot.jpg" alt="Namor #1 preview" align=right></a>"Misters Quesada and Jemas,

"I know we are not familiar with one another, other than in the sense that you are aware of my position as leader of the free world, and I am aware of your positions as leaders of the Marvel Comics publishing empire. We have never met, but, in a way, I feel closer to you than some of my oldest and dearest friends.

"So it was with great sadness that today, as I went about my morning ritual of a cinnamon roll, coffee, and the latest comic news, I turned my browser upon The Pulse (http://www.comicon.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=36&t=000753) to discover that Mr. Salvador Larroca was being removed from X-Treme X-Men.

<a href="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/previews/0403/Xtreme_Xmen_24.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/previews/0403/Xtreme_Xmen_24t.jpg" alt="X-Treme X-Men #24 preview" align=right></a>"My heart dropped as I read of his departure for Namor. Sal was MY artist. He was drawing his little Spanish heart out for ME. His work never ceased to touch me personally, and at times, I would wonder if maybe, just maybe, Sal was thinking of me as he drew cities exploding and heroes fighting for the True American Freedom. Though Sal was not an American by birth, I know his heart pumped red, white, and blue.

"And I am not alone. After issue number three, Psylocke’s touching memorial, I forced the book into the hands of Dick, Rummy, and Condy. They all loved it! And what was not to love? Beautiful women that made me feel funny in a way I had not felt since the Dukes of Hazzard was so unjustly removed from air. Men who embodied the True American Spirit of Justice and What Is Right. I remember a conversation with Rummy during the 'Invasion' arc, when noted that Salvador's X-Men fought for the Ideals of Freedom and Liberty Against the Tyranny and Oppression of Evil Dictators. Rummy claims it changed his life, and you know what? I believe him. Even my dear wife, who casually perused a copy left lying around one night, was drawn in by Sal. 'George,' she said to me, 'if I had known men as gorgeous as Gambit existed in Louisiana, I would have insisted we visit our neighbors to the east sooner!'

<a href="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/previews/0503/Xtreme_Xmen_25.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://x-mencomics.com/xfan/images/previews/0503/Xtreme_Xmen_25t.jpg" alt="X-Treme X-Men #25 preview" align=right></a>"Sal has touched us all. Thus, it with a heavy heart that I implore you, do not move him. Keep him drawing images of Freedom and Liberty, not fishmen of questionable sexuality. If there is any patriotism in your liberal hearts, please, allow Sal to stay. If Sal is removed from X-Treme X-Men, the terrorists win.

"Good night, and God Bless.

"Yours,
"George Walker Bush, Jr.
"President of the United States."

Jemas and Quesada have declined to comment. More news on this situation as it develops.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/02/28/bush.larroca/index.html


All characters &trade; and &copy; their respective owners. All Rights Reserved. The preceding article was a work of fiction, and any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. All parody of public figures protected under Hustler Magazine v. Falwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988), and is intended to be comic, not malicious.

Lauren Dougherty (phoenixfire81@hotmail.com) is happily married with children, and lives in the Upper East Side of New York City with her husband, Tom Brokaw.

Anthony Zisa (PopinFrsh@aol.com) is often asked how one man can have as many enemies as he does. The answer, as always, is vodka. Lots of vodka.

[Jim Learning]

:rofl: Oh man. That was definitely a good chuckle in my book. I really liked it how you got it out so fast. :)

[Anthony Zisa]

Originally posted by Nemesis
:rofl: Oh man. That was definitely a good chuckle in my book. I really liked it how you got it out so fast. :)

I am a man of many talents.

--acz

[Robotsurfer]

Hilarious. Satire on par with the Onion. Keep it coming!

[William Claypool]

I’m glad the President of the United States--or as Al Frankin says, "ruler of the world’s only remaining superpower"--is trying to knock some sense into the President of Marvel. Hmm… ruler of the world’s only remaining superpower, the ruler of Atlantis whom himself possess superpowers. This conspiracy might go further up than I had once thought.

X-Treme fans need take note, if you too want to get to the bottom of this, follow the money.:shhh:

[Bamfette]

tee-hee!!!! :LOL:

[Joey Meyers]

heh. Good stuff.

[UltimateIceman]

:LOL: :rofl: Is this for real?? That is so funny/cool!

UltimateIceman

[ManolisV]

the link doesn't work :p

[BoomBot]

Pretty good, Zisa! I'm glad a satire on this situation was done.

[Ken Kneisel]

UPN just interrupted Buffy with a special news bulletin where US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld sternly cautioned Bill Jemas and Joe Quesada to put Salvador Larroca back on X-Treme X-Men or risk becoming "irrelevant".

This is really serious, guys!

edit: UPDATE! Marvel has just agreed in principle to allow Salvador Larroca back onto X-Treme X-Men, but Rumsfeld and Secretary of State Colin Powell remain largely unconvinced. They're threatening "serious consequences" if Larroca doesn't pencil the God Loves, Man Kills sequel.

MSNBC Hardball host Chris Matthews is speculating that said "serious consequences" probably consist of both Rumsfeld and Powell dropping XXM in protest, and possibly all the other Marvel titles in their pull boxes as well. Whether they would replace those titles with books from DC or CrossGen remains to be seen.

[Anthony Cordova]

:LOL: . My favorite line? " If Sal is removed from X-Treme X-Men, the terrorists win." Priceless.

[TristenMagnus]

I admit this had me goin for a moment... ;)

[Ruth]

Bad Anthony, bad, bad, bad. :rofl:

[VisageOfBravery]

Hmm...this makes me ponder. Politics+Comics= The Third Wave of Tsunami???

Oooh, better yet... How about some cameo appearances in X2!!! I can see it now good ol' Condy playin' Storm's mom in a flash back sequence.

Mr. Powell could play G.W. Bridge!!!

And what of the President? Let's see...Think, think, think. Ha! I can't help but think it'd be fun for him to play the X-men's favorite pub owner, Harry!!!

[Lauren Dougherty]

Anthony, you are my hero. Beautiful, darling.

[Sara Owens]

Damn, I was hoping Sal would be placed on Wolverine: Red Bub. It would have been magical.

:andrew

[Ken Kneisel]

I just saw on Fox News that this tragedy has apparently ripped the UN clean in two.

The US and Great Britain are in favor of using force if Marvel does not comply with their demands to put Salvador Larroca back on X-Treme X-Men; while France, Germany, Russia and China have all argued that Igor Kordey's issues of Soldier X were actually pretty good, and that the US and the UK should give the guy a chance on XXM.

The situation is currently dead-locked and the rhetoric is heating up on both sides.

[Rimpelwillem Returns]

good stuff man

I wonder what Bill and Joe would do, though...

[charm]

Hmm, I was wondering where Blair stood on this (apart from under Bush's thumb). On the Beeb today, there was mention of some protest marches being held in Trafalgar Square, apparently agreeing with France & Germany - so we may yet see Kordey on Extreme. Blair really has got to start taking some notice of UK public opinion.

Charm

[Broadsword]

I don't know about you people but I'm taking a more direct form of protest.

Tomorrow i leave for Marvel HQ to act as a human shield. I wil gamble with my life to show my anger at this by laying myself over Kordley's desk so that he can not draw!

Who's with me?

[Alex Guillen]

great column guys, Zisa you're a genius. :)
Tjis columns are really awsome , keep up the great work :LOL:

[Radiate]

You know i really thought this was true.I was gonna stitch on the tv to see news coverage on it.How gullible am i?:LOL:

RADIATE!

[xmanson2.0]

What's Madonna opinion on the matter?

[Ken Kneisel]

Originally posted by xmanson2.0
What's Madonna opinion on the matter?

E! just did a big special on how all the top celebrities are reacting to this global tragedy, and Madonna said that she'd be cancelling her subscription to X-Treme X-Men since she only bought it for her daughter and Lourdes only liked it because of the shiny artwork.

When asked to comment on her opinion of Igor Kordey's artwork, Lourdes Ciccone said she thought it looked like "caca". It was later revealed that she was basing her opinion entirely on his fill-in issues for New X-Men.

[dredweezul]

Killer scoop! Props to Anthony for bringing us the news at his own peril :p WOW! now THATS dedication in modern journalism!

Dredz

[number1958]

That was great, I clicked on the link with my fingers crossed. :D

[Zach Kinkead]

I never really thought of it that way. Quick, put Sal back on XXM before the terrorists win :LOL:

[xmanson2.0]

Originally posted by Ken Kneisel
E! just did a big special on how all the top celebrities are reacting to this global tragedy, and Madonna said that she'd be cancelling her subscription to X-Treme X-Men since she only bought it for her daughter and Lourdes only liked it because of the shiny artwork.

When asked to comment on her opinion of Igor Kordey's artwork, Lourdes Ciccone said she thought it looked like "caca". It was later revealed that she was basing her opinion entirely on his fill-in issues for New X-Men.


Madonna also said that she was very glad to serve as inspiration for Sal when he was designing Regan Wyngarde, and if he ever leaves comics, she will hire him to design clothes to her videos and shows, due to his strange obssession with black leather.


Marilyn Manson also showed support for Sal decision in a obscure message board, saying he is a great artist and he's deciding to base his new look for the next album on Sage or Lifeguard's Shiar form. He gave up on the Storm look cuz he " didn't really enjoy those bikini wax sessions" and his breast aren't the big.

[NicholasRogue]

I don't find it that funny.

[anthomaniac1023]

LoL! :LOL:

[Ken Kneisel]

I'm glad you find this funny, Anthony, but this is actually a very serious issue! :#

Bush is talking about using nuclear weapons against the Marvel offices if they don't fully comply with message board demands to put Larroca back on XXM! That would wind up taking out most of Maine as well! :eek:

[anthomaniac1023]

Good point, heading north now, maybe even into Canada. I better get out of the draft range if there's a war with Marvel.

[UltimateIceman]

OMG, I am such a moron. I thought this was real for a bit (well, there was that initial sense of doubt, but it was overtaken). Good job Anthony

[Steven Paul]

Originally posted by Spriteguy16
I don't find it that funny.

I was begining to wonder if I was the only one!

[anthomaniac1023]

You guys're gonna hurt Zisa's feelings. :(

[FreakyFlyBry]

LOL! :LOL: This gave me a much-needed laugh today! I knew it was a fake report, but it was hilarious!

[Judius]

Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please Chris Bachalo on X-Treme X-Men please oh please

Hopefully Bush will make himself useful for once and force Marvel to put Larocca back on X-Treme.

[William Claypool]

Hmm. I can't exactly place my finger on it, but from some odd reason I believe Judius wants Chris Bachalo on X-Treme. Seriously, is that really necessary. Seriously, is that really necessary. Seriously, is that really necessary.... Kind of annoying and pointless isn't it?

Originally posted by anthomaniac1023
Good point, heading north now, maybe even into Canada. I better get out of the draft range if there's a war with Marvel.

This war idea scares me. I can already imagine a guy in foam Hulk costume assaulting a poor eight year old gir, while some overweight middle-aged guy in a revealing Spider-Man costume takes out a church in the name of the Spider God. The horror. The horror. WWJD?

[anthomaniac1023]

What Would Jemas Do?

[Judius]

Oh great, I knew he was the antichrist!:O

[AngelinLeather]

Yeah that was peretty good.

[Unicorn_Pegasus]

While I am anti-Sal leaving, I had to say that "I forced the book into the hands of Dick, Rummy, and Condy." made inhale my root beer. :LOL: Soda aspiration is not a good thing, but it's worth it cause you two are hilarious. Sick and twisted sarcastic humor is the best. :)

But Sal leaving does Suck. (Yes, I realize your point, I just still needed to say that. :yes: )

[Drackdallion]

Originally posted by Reyes_LeBeau
I was begining to wonder if I was the only one!

No, you aren´t the only ones. I don´t think it´s funny at all. FOr some of us Larroca´s departure from the book is a big thing. ´cause we spend money monthly getting that book, for both the writing AND the art!!! Don´t know ´bout the others!!:mad:

[BJR]

I usually don't agree with Bush on anything but this I do. Let's re-elect Bush in 2004 if Sal stays.

[d-burn]

out of curiousity, has anyone considered the possibilty that sal maybe wanted to leave the title? has he made any comments?:chuck:

[NicholasRogue]

Originally posted by Reyes_LeBeau
I was begining to wonder if I was the only one!

Thank God Reyes! Thank God....

[nina]

This is even less funny than the last column. WHY WOULD YOU MOCK THIS SERIOUS ISSUE?! Don't you know that this is clearly the biggest tragedy since Marti Noxton was made an executive producer on Buffy?!

[themimic]

Originally posted by nina
This is even less funny than the last column. WHY WOULD YOU MOCK THIS SERIOUS ISSUE?! Don't you know that this is clearly the biggest tragedy since Marti Noxton was made an executive producer on Buffy?!

You will be my queen.

[nina]

Originally posted by themimic
You will be my queen.

Could I have a crown????

And a robe?

And like, 100 servants??

[Anthony Zisa]

Originally posted by nina
Could I have a crown????

And a robe?

And like, 100 servants??

No, just 100 Lloyd-clones, which you don't want, because they'd sit there grumbling about you, and the combined bass of their bitching would cause your castle to collapse.

--acz

[nina]

Originally posted by Anthony Zisa
No, just 100 Lloyd-clones, which you don't want, because they'd sit there grumbling about you, and the combined bass of their bitching would cause your castle to collapse.

--acz

Also, I am SO not paying for the A&F bill for 100 Lloyds out of my queenly pocket.

My poor castle!!

[Drackdallion]

:clown: Now THAT´S funny!!!!

[William Claypool]

Originally posted by anthomaniac1023
What Would Jemas Do?

That's what I'm asking. But I do have the strangest feeling it'll have something to do with sliced meats, Miracle Whip, and two pieces of Pumpernickel. Nothing is confirmed yet, but it has the makings of becoming some form of sandwich--possibly pastrami.

[FrankRook]

We need more time to let Bill and Joe do their Jobs. Lets push back the deadline of Namor to the 3rd wave and allow Bill and Joe to search for better artists on this title, find their are none and put Salvo back in xtreme. Putting Salvo on Namor is serious and should as always be used as last resort.

[Roberto Polanco]

n the name of all that s fun and stupd, man yer good Zsa

[xmanson2.0]

Originally posted by d-burn
out of curiousity, has anyone considered the possibilty that sal maybe wanted to leave the title? has he made any comments?:chuck:


Yes, he has. ;)

[ReaperFett]

:lol

that was brilliant :)

[Allison Wright]

That was a funny article, I have to admit that. :D But Sal leaving X-Treme just sucks! I love him and why Namor?!!? Life is cruel. This is France's fault, somehow, I just know it! :p :)

[Jazz]

Which titles do Jeb Bush read?

[jack frost 23]

Originally posted by Jazz
Which titles do Jeb Bush read? - as George often say.

I think G.W. is misunderestimating Igor Kordey's talent.

[Ken Kneisel]

All I know is that if a draft is instituted to support Bush and his unilateral, unthinking "War On Artist That R Bad And Can't Draw And Coul't Even Hold A Fire To Salvodar LaRroce And Shouldn't Even Be Drawing Comics Because The Suck And Marvel Sjould Cansel Namor And Put Salodro Laroca Back On X-tream Team Right Now PLEEEAAAASSSSREEEEEEEEEEE (Or Maybe Carlos Pachedo Or Joe Mad Or Jim Lee Or Alex Ross But Mostly Savloar Larroce PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)" then I'll be the first on the UCBerkeley campus burning my draft card in protest!

[jack frost 23]

'Salodro' - :LOL:

[NicholasRogue]

Originally posted by Ken Kneisel
All I know is that if a draft is instituted to support Bush and his unilateral, unthinking "War On Artist That R Bad And Can't Draw And Coul't Even Hold A Fire To Salvodar LaRroce And Shouldn't Even Be Drawing Comics Because The Suck And Marvel Sjould Cansel Namor And Put Salodro Laroca Back On X-tream Team Right Now PLEEEAAAASSSSREEEEEEEEEEE (Or Maybe Carlos Pachedo Or Joe Mad Or Jim Lee Or Alex Ross But Mostly Savloar Larroce PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)" then I'll be the first on the UCBerkeley campus burning my draft card in protest!

All your doing is making fun of about 50% of the posters here who've been bitchin about Sal leaving, true some went over board, but now look who's following their lead.

[anthomaniac1023]

Well, that's not all he's doing, he's also being quite funny.

[NicholasRogue]

Originally posted by anthomaniac1023
Well, that's not all he's doing, he's also being quite funny.

to some

[Wolverine]

Heh funny stuff

[Drackdallion]

Originally posted by Spriteguy16
to some

Amen!! :bow:

[anthomaniac1023]

Originally posted by Spriteguy16
to some

To many, I'm sure.

[NicholasRogue]

Originally posted by Drackdallion
Amen!! :bow:

Thank you!

[Ken Kneisel]

Originally posted by Spriteguy16
All your doing is making fun of about 50% of the posters here who've been bitchin about Sal leaving, true some went over board, but now look who's following their lead.

Don't b so meen 2 me!! I'm jus essperessiong my opinium! :~(

[NicholasRogue]

:rogue:

[jack frost 23]

Your avatar looks mighty irritated, spriteguy16.

[steve2275]

KOOL

[NicholasRogue]

Originally posted by jack frost 23
Your avatar looks mighty irritated, spriteguy16.

Can't help it if I'm all fire, light, and incarnate can ah sugah! :rogue: :jeanphnx:

[jack frost 23]

Aye, fair enough. :)

[NicholasRogue]

Originally posted by jack frost 23
Aye, fair enough. :)

Thanks;)